Intro to Social Work
University of North Alabama
July 27, 2012
Marriage can be one of the most life changing moments of your life and divorce can be an even more life changing moment. People in America are getting divorce everyday all for different reasons. Some of the reasons may be because; they are unhappy, they have decided to move on to someone else, depression, etc. There are all types of different reasons why people get divorced and it is no way to narrow it down to one, but everyone who goes through a divorce can agree on the following emotions. When people decide to get married, they usually produce a child or children from it. Divorce affects so many people in the family, including the children. Twenty-three percent of families in America are single parent families with children under the age of eighteen. This puts families at a higher risk for children growing up with side-effects of not having a two parent home. In America it is much harder to be raised in a single parent home versus a two parent home. In the following paper I plan to list facts about divorce, why people get divorce, the effects on children, and the effects on both women and men.
Divorce can cause many different emotions fear, anger, guilt, and grief. Let’s start with fear. Many divorced males and females often may be afraid of the future based on their failed marriage. They feel as though there is no more hope and that they may die alone, this is not an uncommon emotion in most divorce situations. Another reason why they may feel fear is because they have the fear of the significant other moving on to another. Most males have a greater chance of moving on to another woman faster than a woman would. Another reason why people who get a divorce begin to feel fear is because if children are involved (in which most cases they are), they have the fear of not being able to raise their children in a two parent home or because they are concerned about their daughter or son(s) being hurt by the divorce. Most parents try to protect their children from the divorce process as much as possible.
Anger is another (if not the number one) emotion that many tend to feel when they are going through a divorce. They may feel angry for several different reasons. Those reasons might include feeling as though they were never were supposed to get married or it was a waste of time (regret). Anger ties into my next point, guilt. Many people often feel guilty simply because they feel as though it was something that they should have done differently in the marriage. They may carry around the feeling of guilt into a new relationship if they ever decide to begin a new one or stay single and feel guilty, which is even worse.
The last and final emotion that a person who is going through a divorce may feel is grief and this is because they feel like they have lost a part of their life. They feel hopeless and like they don’t have one anyone, simply because the person they have spent many years with has gone away. They also may feel ashamed or embarrassed, especially if they were very close to other relatives who knew about the marriage (in-laws, cousins, aunts, etc.) They may have a huge feeling of disappointment on their shoulders and they may feel as though they let down a lot of people including their children. Most parents try to set the best example possible when being married, showing affection and how to love in hopes that one day when they grow up they will look at them as the example.
Now that we’ve learned a little bit about how getting a divorce can make the two people involved feel, let’s focus on the pros and cons of getting a divorce. Some pros of getting a divorce (the following isn’t facts, but rather based on research). Some pros may be that they are happier when everything is over and done with. Another would be that they can focus on themselves as an individual and focus on making themselves better. This would include...