Sibling Rivalry

Sibling rivalry is the jealousy, competition and fighting between brothers and sisters. It is a concern for almost all parents of two or more kids. Problems often start right after the birth of the second child. Sibling rivalry usually continues throughout childhood and can be very frustrating and stressful to parents. Sibling rivalry is one of humanity's oldest problems. One of the first stories in the Bible deals with the rivalry between two brothers, Cain and Abel. The older brother, Cain, was irritated at constantly having to help take care of his younger brother, Abel, and kept asking his parents "Am I my brother's keeper?" The story of these two brothers has a tragic ending; Cain becomes so angry that he kills Abel. The fact that this is one of the first stories written in the Bible shows the great importance given to the problem of sibling rivalry.

What causes sibling rivalry?
After doing my research and interviews I have found out that there are many factors that contribute to sibling rivalry. Listed below are some facts and some of my opinions on what causes sibling rivalry.
• Each sibling is competing to define who they are as an individual. As they discover who they are, they try to find their own talents, activities, and interests. They want to show that they are separate from their siblings.
• Siblings feel they are getting unequal amounts of the parent's attention, discipline, and responsiveness.
• Siblings may feel their relationship with their parents is threatened by the arrival of a new baby.
• Sibling's developmental stages affect how well they can share your attention and get along with one another.
• Siblings who are hungry, bored or tired are more likely to start fights.
• Siblings may not know positive ways to get attention from their brother or sister, so they pick fights.
• Family dynamics play a role. For example, one child may remind a parent of a relative who was particularly difficult, and this may subconsciously influence how the parent treats that child.
• Siblings will fight more with each other in families where there is no understanding that fighting is not an acceptable way to resolve conflicts.
• Families that don't share enjoyable times together will probably have more conflict.
• Stress in the parent's lives can decrease the amount of attention parents give the children and increase sibling rivalry.