Running head: SHORT-TERM PREMARITAL RELATIONSHIPS
Short-term Premarital Relationships
Brenda M. Ellis
July 2, 2009
Short-term premarital relationships are the subject of debate in many families. The idea of a couple living together without being married is just one of the many problems in relationships today that end up going through divorce court. Short-term relationships do not have the staying power as one where the couples are getting to know one another for a longer period-of-time. The relationship does not have time to manifest into something that will last a lifetime. In this day and time, short-term relationships have a propensity to become a short-term life span. This report will give you the results of short-term premarital relationships and how they pan out in the end and for the future of these couples.
Short-Term Premarital Relationships
Couples today are more eager to marry than to get to know their partner better. In the article below, it will show the positive and the negative sides to short-term relationships prior to marrying.
Positive and Negative Outcomes
Long-term dating has its benefits when deciding if that other person is someone you want to marry. For example, the longer you date, the more likely you are to experience troublesome moments. These will test whether the other person has the strength to get through those moments with you. Sometimes trying times bring you closer together and make you surer about wanting to be with that person for a life-long commitment. The only downside is that you cannot truly know what the future holds and a very drastic event could still break the bonds of marriage. In short-term dating, the benefit of marrying immediately is that it is possible that you will both try very hard to make the marriage successful. You go into it with a lot of passion and romance. The downside is making sure that those feelings can be lasting and can withstand the trials and tribulations that come with life and affect both people in the relationship.
The length of time people date before they get married varies so much between couples because each relationship has its own dynamic. If you are in tune with your significant other, you should be able to tell if that person is marriage-minded and whether you will work together for the commitment that comes with it. Marriage is far different from cohabitation and it can work out well for people who are serious about staying together and going through life's experiences with a strong companion. The bottom line is that only you and your significant other decide how long you date before you know that you want to be married to each other. You have to gauge, on your own, the intensity of your dating situation and whether your romantic feelings are mutual. (Tabares, 2009).
I read this article about cohabitation and it reminds me of how couples can lose focus on one another because they tend to assume that the other feels the same way. It is easier to walk away from a short-term relationship than it is after getting to know someone first, then marrying. “People who cohabit seem to lose respect for themselves and for their partner, while those who form a household only after marriage have inherently higher self-respect and respect for their spouse. Cohabitation is a supercharged engine producing dissatisfied couples and, as a result, more divorces—thus contributing to and sustaining America’s high divorce rate.” (McManus, 2008). I have known couples that married two months after they met and the marriage lasted twelve years with two beautiful children to show for their short marriage. Why did the marriage break up? Infidelity, plain and simple, a cheating spouse. Why did this have to happen? The couple was young, she was only 16 and he was 19. They did not take time to get to know one another. They knew nothing about the...
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