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The Classic Misadventures of A Teenage Rebel
by: Elijah Moore
Chapter 1
Introduction to me. Elijah Moore. The writer and subject of this book. Get ready to meet me, bitches!
I guess I should start off with an introduction. I am Elijah Moore, the unknown philosopher, and I have decided to start a book. About me, and, well, the crazy shit I get into. Even if I am just sitting here, or mainly isolating myself in my room. You wouldn't have been able to guess, but I have had some of the most mindblowingly amazing experiences in this little, shithole, temperature extreme room. Like right now, I am on an extremely high dose of amphetamines. Lettin', you guys know, I feel fucking fantastic.

Anyways, more about myself, so you know more about me, I guess. I am curently sixteen, born February 23rd 1997. My appearance: I am 5'9 3/4. So I am 5'10 pretty much. I have long, straight, soft silky hair that changes colors from blonde to red, depending on the light. Bangs need to be cut, right now. Really fucking annoying.

Well, it has been annoying for weeks, and extremely annoying and aggravating since Friday, third of May; which is when I started my binge. I haven't got a night of sleep, only about an hour on Saturday. I have some severe amphetamine psychosis/sleep deprivation things going on, but thats for next chapter.

Back to what my looks look like, ya dig? I could say I'm some toned muscle stud, because you can't see me. But guess what? I'm not a douchebag! My hair, again, strawberry blonde. I have freckles all over, of which i wear as proudly I do my red hair. I'm 50% Irish and 50% mix of chemicals I ingest. Haha, just kidding. Or maybe not, I wouldn't be surprised. My body type is... eh, i guess average. I'm not packin' pounds, but I am losing weight randomly for no reason. My weight is usually between 150lbs and 165lbs. I forsee me losing a lot more weight soon. You'll learn why in a moment. I have toned arms. The muscles on my arm look pretty good for not...