Sexual Fantacies

Topics: Shame, Guilt, Sexual fantasy Pages: 2 (532 words) Published: February 24, 2013
Believe it or not, everyone has some secret desire, fantasy, or even fetish that brings on arousal and turns us on in the bedroom, or otherwise. For some of us, our fantasies work best when used alone. We thus prefer to use the fantasy as personal experience on our own, and don’t find the need to share it with others. Others of us strive and have a strong urge to share our fantasy or fetish, to live it out and to act it out with our partners and with others. Finally there are those of us who have trouble swallowing the content of our desires, feel confused about its meaning and are thus conflicted about our fantasies and fetishes. Feelings of guilt, shame, and confusion about our fantasies and what is turning us on is common in our society. We want to know, why do I feel this way? And where does this come from? The short answer is this, our sexual fantasies are likely a reflection of the very stimuli/stimulus which we were exposed to during our sexual awakening, much like classical conditioning. For example the boy who experiences his first erection in the bathtub, may thus pair arousal with water and bathing, and thus might have fantasies involving water. The girl who has a domineering mother, or who feels ostracized a lot by her peers may have fantasies about being dominated as an adult.* What is often difficult for people to understand is that sexual awakening happens when we are children. Childhood sexuality though a completely natural part of development is often ignored in our culture, shunned or brushed under the rug as wrong. The child is made to feel ashamed or guilty for having sexual thoughts, and desires. No explanations are given and nothing is talked about. But remembering that sexual curiosity is a normal and natural part of a healthy child’s development an innocent desire of a child to explore, and feel pleasure, can eradicate much of the shame and guilt we have about our early sexual experiences, which in turn may lead to our current state of...
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