in fast-paced Hong Kong. It also stems from being a woman in a male-dominated industry. she says. Changing required a huge effort of will. And she was l1o stranger to management training. "l tried to do what the books said: tre hands-off and let people make their own mistakes." says Lo. '"But I hated it, hated it. lrated
Disenchanted with the classes-and-books route to better leadership. Lo resolved 1o relorm her own way. lmpatience, she recognized, was her greatest foe. Lo likes things settled, which means argumeilts end when she leaves the room. Winner: Selina Lo. At RuckrLs. she adopted a group decision-making process that forces her to consider the opinions of others. Now, when a disagreement arises, she quickly convenes a meeting of herself. her disputant. and one or two other people affected by the decision. "If they agree with me, he gets more data points about why I am corrsct," says Lo. "If they agree with him, I ask myself, Am I being blind or r"infair?" She also gets a group assist in matters of emotional intelligence. In the past, Lo had always been stingy with praise, because she herself doesn't need it. "In Chinese culture. it's considered bad manners to praise your kid. so I never got that from my parents," she says. "I became very self-driven." At Ruckus, Lo has asked colleagues to help her recognize when and how to dble or"rt the kudos. Before an all-hands meeting, for example, someone might suggest she acknowiedge an individual lbr a job well done. "The process has been like learning to be a parent," she says. "People learn to be good parents without going to school. If you care, ovel time, you
figure out how to do it."
Questions for Discussion
How did Selina Lo's interpersonal styie evolve in terms of the conflict metaphors discussed in this chapter?
2. What evidence of ILnctional and dysfunctional conflict
apparent in this case?
3. What did
SeHna Lo need to learn early on about emotionai intelligencg as...
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