Search for Acceptance

Being gay is not an easy thing. Trying to tell others is not any easier. Being rejected is even harder. Coming out has been something that I struggled with for years. I was scared of the rejection that comes along with coming out. This fear of rejection has shadowed my life and kept me from telling anyone. It felt like I was carrying a heavy weight on my shoulders; a weight that needed to be lifted. To lift this burden, I had to move on. In order to move on I had to accept my self and the fact that I am gay.
When I decided to tell people the truth about my sexuality, life, it seemed, became instantaneously harder. Questions suck as “How should I tell people,” “will they treat me different,” “will my friends still talk to me,” quickly filled my mind. How was I going to tell people? More importantly, would I still be accepted? After contemplating this matter for a while, I had to speak up. I decided that I was going to tell those close to me.
The people I considered close to me would be the ones to surprise me greatly. I was expecting acceptance. What I got differed greatly. Not everybody reacted the same. Their reactions varied greatly. Everybody reacts differently when presented with certain information. That was something I was not expecting, along with how those reactions would affect me. One had no effect. Another made me feel like I was nothing. One unexpectedly showed acceptance. Despite how people reacted, I wanted acceptance. I wanted to feel like I was no different than any other person. I began my search for acceptance.
I started with my friend Meredith. She was the first person I told and I figured it would be a good place to start. I was attending Penn State University at the time. It was august when I called her and decided to tell her. We were on the phone having a casual conversation. Catching up, filling each other in on what has happened our lives, things two friends would do when they haven’t seen the other for some time. While we were talking,... [continues]

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