Satire on Socialism Written as Declaration of Independence

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The Declaration of Independence
An exaggerated account of the occupy movement and socialism

When in the course of events involving the 99% it becomes necessary for a people to advance from the subordination in which they have hitherto remained, and to assume among the powers of the earth the equal and independent station to which the laws of the communist manifesto and the president of the United States has promised us.

We the 99% hold these truths to be self-proclaimed, that all men are entitled to what all others have built, and all men are endowed by the proclamations of Lenin with certain rights to the state, among these are shared and distributed wealth, pursuit of socialist ideas such as common property, universal healthcare, and of course the pursuit of happiness but only to an extent so as not to make ones self-more successful than his peers. It is the right and duty of an individual and in this case the 99% to declare the abuses of a capitalist system upon a dependent people (the 99% as we are called) to be unjust and ruthless for it is capitalism that rewards those who are ambitious, but not everyone can be ambitious. The current economic system and style of of government has administered many abuses upon its 99% and it’s for this reason we declare the 99% independent and let us at this point submit the facts of why we declare independence and the list of ongoing abuses. It (the current economic system of capitalism) has destroyed our lively hood and caused us to take to the streets in protest against those who functioned in the society

It refused to pass laws limiting big business and limiting the proponents of big business
It has refuted and dispersed our many protests and has ultimately driven us to hate the current system .
It has acted to with unfair justice on those of us who have occupied public lands and has even asked us to move multiple times after we have clearly stated that we won’t. If this was not enough it has...
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