Romeo and Juliet Internal Monologue - the Friar

This is my fault. I know it. Everyone knows it. Two lives are gone; two young people are now not of this world. Why has this happened? Let me look at my plan from two days ago, my plan is flawless, every tiny inch of it. Why has it all gone so wrong?
They are now married but it should bring the two families closer or put an end to their quarrelling. A Montague and a Capulet? I know now that it is never going to work. I mean, how stupid am I? Their families fight now and have for generations. This will only add to their hateful fire, not calm it.
I know I need to deliver this letter to Romeo myself and not trust a mailing service. A letter of such importance must not slip into the wrong hands, or not even reach him at all. This letter is pivotal in everything running smoothly and sending Friar John to pass it on could be a mistake that I do not want to be accountable for. I would never forgive myself for that and a matter as important as a fake death should be dealt with personally. As I have now realised that something like this is bound to happen, I will be certain to hand it to Romeo myself.
My sleeping potion will not be the cause of their deaths, their families are to blame. Oh, to be with Juliet now in the church and stay, I will do, to keep her alive. I should never trust a teenage girl with a fake – death poison again, what am I thinking? Anyone knows this is a flaw in my judgement and I know this.
Responsible for this, I am not. I did not bring them together through a chance meeting nor will I support an alleged criminal. My sin is the un-holiest of crimes known to man. I am a coward, stay with Juliet, should be my thoughts.
It is not my right to be involved in the secondary marriage of Juliet and Paris. Plotting against it is a mistake. I should tell her parents about her an Romeo today, or even better, stop it from happening. However, the Montagues and the Capulets are the ones who make Romeo and Juliet’s relationship taboo; this is why they find each other extremely attractive.
I am an honourable man who sells herbs and medicines to the people of Verona. My potions cause both good and evil. Mostly good but my reputation is tarnishable. Something like this will ruin my career, both as a friar and potion brewer. Will I now be banished like Romeo? I understand why Mercutio is dead but Tybalt has always been such an angry man, I have always known this. He is responsible for the same as Romeo.
Take the blame for this? I will do. So will many others; family, friends, acquaintances and even foe all will play an important role in the demise of Juliet and her Romeo.