Relationships Advice Paper: Dr. Roof Letter "Should I Give my Ex a Second Chance?"
Dear Alex,Thank you for writing me with regard to the issue of giving your ex - boyfriend a second chance or not. According to your letter, you and your ex - boyfriend were really in love since you two both decided to move together from L.A. to San Francisco for school. However, your relationship was broke up but you didn 't mention in your letter what causes this. So I assume that your ex - boyfriend cheated on you and you no longer want to keep the relationship and decided to break up with him. But now you are confuse of giving him a second chance or not and you wrote in your letter that you still have some feelings for him. From my point of view, it always come a time in every relationship where a breakup has occurred and a need by one or both partners to try it again. Thus, now I 'll explore several reasons why you should reign in that urge to jump right back into a relationship with the man that you just stepped out of relationship with. Regardless who did the breaking up, there 's always a reason why the relationship itself went sour so it 's just as important to go slow when it comes to thinking of jumping back in. As Ivy Chen, an MPH, points out that "our first loves are idealized. Purity of loving someone without having been hurt before" (Lovers from Friends; Friends with Benefits; Long - Lost Love Reunions Lecture, 9/15/2008). As he is your first really serious partner, I think you would like to keep the relationship with him. Here is my advice, as you still have feeling with him, you should give yourself and your ex - boyfriend a second chance to see what have changes after your reunion.
Right from the beginning, it 's important for you to be honest with yourself as to what caused the relationship to disintegrate. If the problem was something easily fixable then it 's probably wise to go forth and give him the benefit of the doubt and go with your heart, but if the original breakup involved something more difficult, then make sure that you keep both
Right from the beginning, it 's important for you to be honest with yourself as to what caused the relationship to disintegrate. If the problem was something easily fixable then it 's probably wise to go forth and give him the benefit of the doubt and go with your heart, but if the original breakup involved something more difficult, then make sure that you keep both
References: .Chen, Ivy. Course Reader from Copy Edge, 20082.Elia, John P and Chen, Ivy. Sex and Relationships: An Anthology, 2nd Edition. Dubuque, Iowa: Kendall Hunt Publishers, 20053.Lovers from Friends; Friends with Benefits; Long - Lost Love Reunions Lecture notes, 2008