I have several relationships, friendships and boyfriends, over the years that started off great and for some reason or another ended. I have a clear account that I can recall taking me through every stage of relationships, as discussed in Chapter Ten, from the Interpersonal Communication Book. I dealt with the dying of relations with the same methods suggested in the text, such as seeking support and avoiding negative patterns. I will discuss some of these stages and how they personally affected me.
The beginning of a friendship or personal bond between two individuals always begins with contact first, followed by involvement. These steps are the most interesting to me because of my tendency to base every aspect of a person on my initial reaction to them. If a person comes off as rude or self- centered, I am initially turned away from them, always carrying that image of them. Even if I get close with them and understand more of their personality, I always seem to keep my initial judgment of them close to me. On the other hand, if someone is very personable, nice, and seemingly takes interests in myself, or in my actions, I am more apt to always try to give them the benefit of the doubt. I’ll find myself thinking, “They must just be going through a rough time because this is not the person I met.” Even though I’m aware that people put up phony fronts all the time for social purposes. Initial contact is very important to me, even to a fault. It shapes the way I’m involved with another person.
I have many relationships with people that have stayed strong throughout my life by repairing bonds immediately. A few of the negative relationships I’ve encountered always seem to go from the intimacy stage to deterioration and dissolution rapidly. It’s not long after becoming intimate, sharing personal matters and trust with friends or bonding with a boyfriend, that I will conclude the person is or is not in the best interest of my life at...
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