Reflection Paper on Parenting Principles

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REFLECTION PAPER ON PARENTING PRINCIPLES

Marlene R. Tamon
Mailbox # 40
B.S. Psychology, University of Sto. Tomas, 1995
Master of Arts in Education

Dr. Teody M. Pajaron
Dr. Evelyn R. Pajaron
ES621: Parenting, Schools and Achievement
International Graduate School of Leadership
Quezon City, Philippines
Submitted June 30, 2012

“What makes an effective parent?” “How can one be effective in his or her parenting?” Answers to these questions are very much needed by a father or a mother who truly loves his or her children and has deep concern for them. These are simple questions which may be answered right away but doing it passionately is another issue. For me, understanding the real meaning of parenting should be clear to a person before deciding to have kids. Even before our Parenting class, I knew I was lacking in my parenting skills. Although my husband and I were trying to be the parent that God wants us to be, somehow I can sense that there were things that we were not doing properly. This made me even more interested to take up this subject. As expected, just after the first day of class, God enabled me to see that I was not doing it His way. As a mother, I was not praying as often and as earnestly as I should for each of my children. And if I am praying, I was only asking for what is here and now and not their future lives. I was shaken when I realized that there were aspects in our parenting style that were not helping our children to mature in their respective areas of growth. And I am grateful that God has allowed me to gain a lot of insights not only from our readings but more relevantly, on the real life experiences of our teachers.

One of the principles that really made an impact on me is that of praying for my children. That was the very first thing that I heard (or at least the very first that struck me real hard) from Ate Bing as she was talking about how she and Kuya Teody raised their kids. Praying for them is one of the best things that I, as a parent, can do for my children. I am just a human being and can only do so much, but the Lord is above all. He is sovereign and He holds their lives and knows what is best for them so I entrust each one to Him. I know there is power in prayer and that in prayer I can never go wrong for it is God who will keep them, bless them, guide and direct them in the way that they should go.

Setting a godly example is another principle that I would like to consistently apply in my parenting. “Practice what you preach” and “Walk your talk” are some of the sayings I have heard a couple of times from different people. This principle is oftentimes taken lightly or even neglected by some parents. We usually forget that children are imitators and they understand quickly by observing. We, as parents, should model behaviors that our children can emulate. What they see and hear from us is what they will also do and say. As one author puts it, “kids may or may not listen to our words, but they always pay attention to our actions.” It is very easy for me to say a complete 3-point sermon to my children about what they ought to do and how they should behave but I know this is not what they need. They need to see me putting into action what I teach them. If I want them to learn to trust God in everything, then I should demonstrate trust in God not only in difficult times but also in my day to day activities such as helping my husband manage our family, our finances and also as I accomplish my duties in the workplace. I have learned that when children see that their parents are living examples of God’s Word, it is easier for them to adapt godly principles, thus making learning more meaningful.

The third principle that I am also trying my best to practice is to give my children quality time. I have read that time shared with your kids is not wasted time and I agree with this. During school programs and...
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