Here I am, lying on my deathbed. I cannot
believe i got myself into this mess. It
my fault. It was the Red Riding Hood brat who got me all these problems. If
for her, I would have still been running around free. Because of her, I am
dying and the worst part is that they wont give me a burial in a jail. After I got sent here
50 years ago, I experienced every kind of diseace known to mankind.
It all started one sunny afternoon whenI was very hungry. Sometimes my hunger
takes over my entire body and it wont let go until I filled my stomach with food. Since I
was that hungry, my stomach took over again and robbed a Dunkin Donuts
cafe on 86th street, again. They must really hate me by now because thats what my body
always robs when it's hungry. This time I wasn't
very lucky. My younger brother came
over my house and ate my Dunkin Donuts before I could get them.
So there I was. My stomach is in total control over by body and I can't do anything
about it. So there goes Little Red Riding Hood. She looks so delicious. After she was
donerobbing the jewerly store, she was planning to go to her grandmothers house to stay
low until it was safe to come out in a couple of weeks. She was using her grandma as
cover by making her sick so that her mom would send her to deliver some wine. What a
ploy. A little brat as I had always said.
I met her -accidently- in the woods. I put on a little more fur and some glasses
and she did not realize the it was me. She seemed rather in a hurry to get to her grandma
and I noticed that the little basket was way too big just to carry 1 bottle of wine. I fooled
her by telling her to go pick some flowers for her grandma. I said I *fooled* her because
I came up with a plan how to make my stomach full for a long time. That basket was
filled with jewels which could fetch me a lot of money on e-bay.... [continues]
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