Reasoning Failure of Communication in Marriages

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Communication Failure in Marriage
In Deborah Tannen’s “Sex, Lies and Conversation; Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” one of the primary reasons for the high divorce rate (which is nearly 50%) in the United States is addressed: the different interpretation of what communication is between men and women; and the lack thereof (para. 3). The article, which targets adults in relationships and marriages, takes a different route in identifying why men and women have such a difficult time communicating. Tannen links the difficulty in men and women’s communication to the “differences in childhood socialization” (para. 7) showing that the socially acceptable conversation tactics used by boys and girls turns into the conversational skills these boys and girls use when they become adults (para. 7). When growing up, girls would use “conversation as the cornerstone of friendship.” resulting in women who believe that the their significant other should ultimately take on the roll of a friend and also use conversation to bring them together, to give them an unbreakable bond (Tannen para. 8). This is where one of the major problems in marriages comes about. The bond between men is primarily an action rather than conversation (para. 10). The conversation that women expect from men is not something that men are not familiar with, making it all the more difficult for men and women to understand one another (Tannen para. 10). In other words, women talk to demonstrate togetherness, and men simply do things with each other, and they don’t necessarily need to talk to develop a bond. Tannen also states that “The impression of not listening results from misalignments in the mechanics of conversation.” revealing that women tend to give eye contact when conversing with one another, whereas men only give eye contact every so often (para. 12). It doesn’t come as a surprise that women find it insulting when men don’t make eye contact with them when they are speaking...
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