Quest for a Living God

My quest for a living God
Many people have struggled with their beliefs but some have found true understanding and knowledge, which strengthen their belief for their religion. Some were defeated by frustration in finding more questions than answers, and similarly I found myself questioning my beliefs more and more as I got deeper in my search for answers. Dough has never been something that I was comfortable with, in which case brought me to begin my search at a very young age, however, I too felt tired of looking into a deep whole which seemed like was taking me nowhere.
I was born in a small town in the countryside of Brazil, and my family had never been very active in the church. My grandparents migrated from Japan and kept most of their customs as their parents taught them in their native land; one that is very predominant is their religion, Buddhism. However, discrimination forced them adopt other practices as an attempt to blend in with the majority, which were mainly Italians, Portuguese, and Spanish immigrants. Catholicism has always been the main religion in Brazil since it was conquered by Portuguese expeditions who brought their religion along and preached the words of Catholicism. Therefore, my parents as the second generation had very little knowledge in Buddhism and were never very active in the Catholic Church. I then am the one in my family who had the most exposure to Catholicism, and due to little involvement in the church I never had the chance to learn in depth what I called my religion.
When I was four years old, my family received devastating news; we had lost my father on a small plane crash. And I was too little to understand what was going on, and as I grew up I started questioning why some had normal families with mom and dad, and I only had mom, that is when my quest for a living god started. Going through catechism, first communion, and confirmation, I never really found a good enough answer to why that had happened to me, and... [continues]

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