Pyramid Principle Exercise

Name: Janice Clarke-Grant
Subject: GB512 Business Communication
Instructor: Dr Rand Fandrich

Paragraph Exercise

The paragraph is scrambled. Your assignment is to revise it for clarity and flow.
You will then write a paragraph explaining why you made the changes you made.

Original

Learn as much as possible about the biases, education, age, status, style, and personal and professional concerns of your receivers. An audience-centered approach involves understanding and respecting the members of your audience and making every effort to get your message across in a way that is meaningful to them. This ability to relate to the needs of others is a key part of emotional intelligence, which is widely considered to be a vital characteristic of successful managers and leaders. If you’re addressing people you don't know and you’re unable to find out more about them, try to project yourself into their position by using common sense and imagination. The more you know about the people you’re communicating with, the easier it will be to concentrate on their needs, which will make it easier for them to hear your message, understand it, and respond positively. This approach is also known as adopting the “you” attitude, in contrast to messages that are about “me.”

Revised
An audience-centered approach involves understanding and respecting the members of your audience and making every effort to get your message across in a way that is meaningful to them. This approach is also known as adopting the “you” attitude, in contrast to messages that are about “me.” Learn as much as possible about the biases, education, age, status, style, and personal and professional concerns of your receivers. If you’re addressing people you don't know and you’re unable to find out more about them, try to project yourself into their position by using common sense and imagination. The more you know about the people you’re communicating with, the easier it will be to concentrate on their needs, which will make it easier for them to hear your message, understand it, and respond positively.

My changes were based on sticking to the rules of effective business writing outlined in Chapter 1 by Flood

* Know your audience * BLOT (Bottom Line on Top) * DAB (Detail Analysis Background

The main objective of the paragraph was to explain to the audience what” an audience centered approach” entailed. This should be stated in the opening line so your reader immediately gets your attention and understand what you are attempting to talk about. Say exactly what you mean with clarity. The writer should then lead right into giving detailed analysis background about the subject matter showing their expertise and writing with organization, proper grammar and punctuation. Finally the writer should end with a reiteration of the opening sentence.