Positive Relationship

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HKU SPACE

Community College 香港大學專業進修附屬學院

Today’s agenda:


After this class, you are expected to know :
I. The features of a healthy relationship II. How to initiate interactions III. How to enrich a relationship

How can you apply any one of the elements to improve relationships in your life? There are questions for your self-reflection! 2

I. Features of healthy relationship
1. Genuineness (Rogers, 1980)
 Revealing

your true self and striving to

be honest.  More than absence of lying; openness and authenticity are significant facets.

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I. Features of healthy relationship
2. Unconditional positive regard (Rogers, 1980)  Warm acceptance of each other’s personhood.  Positive responses not because of any conditions or reasons. 仔 , 如 果 你 考 第 一 , 我 就 錫 矖 你 I would love you most if you become the best among your classmates. 4

I. Features of healthy relationship
3. Empathy (Rogers, 1980)
 Ability

to experience others’ perspectives, feelings, ideas and emotions.  Feel what the others feel, being able to “put yourself into others’ place”.

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I. Features of healthy relationship
4. Enjoyments
of joy and “up”.  Feeling of energized.  Feeling better emotionally after meeting each other.  Feeling

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I. Features of healthy relationship
5. Self-disclosure


As people reveal more of the hidden selves, a powerful basis for trust and understanding can be formed.

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I. Features of healthy relationship
6. Dependability


Can rely on each other.



The feeling that you can count on the other to treat you fairly, and this is reciprocated.

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Codependency???
  

Codependency is NOT one of the features of healthy relationship. Harmful to the parties involved in the relationships. Codependents feel compelled to help others. They are (excessively) responsive to the needs of the world to the exclusion of their own needs.



Do you always try to please or help others to an extent that you may hurt yourself and others? 9

I. Features of healthy relationship
7. High self-esteem
 

Enable one to reach out positively to others. I am ok, you are ok.

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Self-reflection!

     

Can you often show your true self to others? Do you like a person just because s/he does you good favors? Can you often empathize with others? Can you often disclose yourself to others with ease? Do you often find lots of fun when interacting with others? Do you have someone whom you can depend on in your life, if not, any possible reasons? Do you think that “I am ok, others are ok too”? 11

II. Initiating Interactions
1.
2. 3.

4.

Managing first impression Tolerance, Acceptance and Appreciation Overcoming shyness Approaching people

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1. Managing first impressions


You have only one chance to leave a first impression to other people.

On the other hand….  Be open to your first impression on others.  Allow time and involvement to verify your first impression.

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2. From Tolerance, Acceptance to Appreciation


Tolerance of people who are different is a worthy, basic goal of interpersonal relations. Social Categorization (For instance, French) Stereotyping (Stereotypic labels towards French, such as romantic, stylish, dirty)  Prejudice (negative attitudes towards French) Discrimination (unfair treatment towards French) 14



3. Overcoming shyness
 

Move beyond passiveness and inaction Start with small behavioral changes  Sincere smile to your classmates  Say “hi” or “good morning”to classmates

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4. Approaching people




Looking for approachability cues.  Approach someone when he/she is in a hurry, involved in other issues?  Or when they are waiting for a class to start, sit alone and looked open? Checking for approachability.  Can I talk to you for 5 mins?  Are you busy right now? 16

Self-reflection!

  

Do you judge a person immediately based on the first...
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