Philosophy of Romantic Love
What is “romantic love”? Is it a feeling? Have you ever felt a hopeless, irrational love for someone, and then immediately regretting this decision. Is it a decision? Is romantic love something people think through? There are those who believe that rational thought is necessary in order for romantic love to be. I agree that rational is a large component as far as why a person has strong feelings toward another. However, what is not clear is the definition of romantic love and who it is reserved for.
Coming up with a definition for love may be the most important step, and should be the first, in attempting to come up with a qualitative definition for what romantic love is. If a person were to pick up a dictionary, they will most likely find a definition for romantic love describing it as a pleasurable feeling associated with love. Then, if you look at the definition of love, it is described as a personal tie with someone or something based on tenderness and affection, either out of kinship, admiration or sexual attraction. However, it is tough to describe the two terms together. Can a person then have romantic love toward someone of the same sex? The definition is lacking when describing who or what love is for. I might love a lamp or have a fetish for women’s lingerie. Who can disprove my romantic feelings for lace underwear? I certainly love my best friends, and have admiration for them. Therefore, according to the definition, I have a romantic love connection with these people. I don’t disagree with that. I believe, unconsciously, I choose my friends based on strong evolutionary characteristics. Some that have weaknesses, I have noticed a non-attraction type feeling toward them. The ones who have stronger characteristics, I have more love for. However, I do rationalize when I’m qualifying my friendships with others. Those that make me happiest based on our chemistry and similar interests, I tend to hang out with more often, and have more love for. Most
Coming up with a definition for love may be the most important step, and should be the first, in attempting to come up with a qualitative definition for what romantic love is. If a person were to pick up a dictionary, they will most likely find a definition for romantic love describing it as a pleasurable feeling associated with love. Then, if you look at the definition of love, it is described as a personal tie with someone or something based on tenderness and affection, either out of kinship, admiration or sexual attraction. However, it is tough to describe the two terms together. Can a person then have romantic love toward someone of the same sex? The definition is lacking when describing who or what love is for. I might love a lamp or have a fetish for women’s lingerie. Who can disprove my romantic feelings for lace underwear? I certainly love my best friends, and have admiration for them. Therefore, according to the definition, I have a romantic love connection with these people. I don’t disagree with that. I believe, unconsciously, I choose my friends based on strong evolutionary characteristics. Some that have weaknesses, I have noticed a non-attraction type feeling toward them. The ones who have stronger characteristics, I have more love for. However, I do rationalize when I’m qualifying my friendships with others. Those that make me happiest based on our chemistry and similar interests, I tend to hang out with more often, and have more love for. Most
Citations: Halwani, R. (2010). Philosophy of Love, Sex and Marriage: An Introduction. New York, NY: Routledge.