We'd better get used to animated gay icons
Barack Obama took one large step for homo sapiens last week when he admitted he was "evolving" in regard to same-sex marriage and has now openly affirmed his belief that gay couples should have the right to marry. There are those, like Mitt Romney, Julia Gillard, and a small group of Australian medical practitioners, who believe humanity may not yet be ready for such a leap. But it would appear we humans are somewhat behind the evolutionary eight ball when it comes to engaging in a form of allegedly unnatural selection which does not seem so rare once we shift our gaze away from those in the human zoo. Only last year a pair of male African penguins at Toronto Zoo were forcibly separated after zookeepers observed them showing signs of mating behaviour. Buddy and Pedro were unashamedly out and proud, parading before the general public, touching, caressing, and from all reports exhibiting deep tenderness and compassion for one another. While zoo authorities acted swiftly to conceal this unpalatable behaviour from the eyes of innocent children, it appears Buddy and Pedro are not alone in the penguin community. Similar bonding has been observed in zoos across the globe. Take the famous case of Roy and Silo, a pair of chinstrap penguins from New York City's Central Park Zoo who made headlines across the world when they hatched an egg and raised a female chick. Sadly the relationship ended after six years when Silo dumped Roy for a feisty Californian female named Scrappy. From all reports Roy is currently footloose and fancy free and is actively seeking the company of any other bi-curious flightless aquatic birds. And it's not just penguins; dozens of species have been observed creeping out of their closets, including dragonflies, koalas, mallards, the broad-headed skink (now referred to as the broad-minded skink) not to mention the appalachian woodland salamander, which for some reason doesn't come as a surprise. What we are dealing with here is the widespread existence of non-discreet mating between consenting same-gender mammals, birds and arthropods. It would seem even the humble Antarctic krill are not safe from accusations of same-sex bonding, with one New York movie reviewer taking umbrage at the unsavoury behaviour of a pair of krill featured in Happy Feet Two. The two tiny krill Bill and Will, voiced by Brad Pitt and Matt Damon, were accused of attempting to engage in and pursue a same-sex relationship. This observation came as something of a shock to myself, as I was a co-writer of the film and the author of the krill scenes, and so found myself tagged as one member of an alleged conspiracy of liberal animators, engaged in the "subliminal same-gender reinforcement" of America's youth. Personally, what consenting adult krill get up to in the privacy of their own swarm is not my business, but for the record, the crustaceans in question were not, in the mind of this writer, in any way embroiled in what might be interpreted as a gay bromance. I cannot recall one production meeting where I or my fellow writers were coerced into implanting subconscious homoerotic mannerisms or pro-Bette Midlerian inclinations into krill, penguin or bull elephant seal for that matter. Neither have I as yet heard any rumblings for any proposed production of Happy Feet Three: Brokeback Iceberg. One might just as easily imagine Toy Story's Sheriff Woody to be the seventh village person, and what of Buzz Lightyear's overly affectionate affectations when in "Spanish mode"? Dare I mention SpongeBob SquarePants, who lives in a two-story pineapple in Bikini Bottom? Perhaps it all started back in the sixties? What really went on behind the scenes between Archie and Jughead, Tom and Jerry and Popeye and Bluto? Being a child of the sixties myself, perhaps the subversive content of those beloved cartoons contaminated my fragile eggshell psyche at a tender age, and that's why I was...
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