Ms. Avallone Period 2
October 10, 2012
PERSONAL SCARLET LETTER ESSAY
Insecurity, a word we’re all familiar with. A person’s insecurity is a reflection of one’s self-esteem and pride within their self. There are many things I am insecure about: my face, my weight, my body, the list goes on. These are all things that I believe are flaws about myself. I tend to think that everyone is against me. As if I am everyone’s enemy. That no one is as genuine to me as I am to them. My flaw is overthinking. Always over analyzing someone’s words or actions into what I assume they are meant to be. This major flaw of mine I believe is the cause of my insecurities. Over thinking has caused me to stress myself out over minor situations that could have easily been avoided.
I developed early, very early, as early as 7 years old. In my young mind, I thought I was just like everyone else. That was until someone finally spotted it out, making me aware of my abnormality. This then made me feel self-conscious about my physical appearance. For years to pass, I continued to believe that my abnormality was wrong. As if I was supposed to look like one thing but did not. I hit puberty before anyone of my age. I was the tallest amongst my friends and classmates and the most developed. Boys at my age did not look at girls that were “bigger” than them, or looked older than them. They were interested in girls that looked their age, which was only about 9 and 10. I did not take this as “I’m too good for them” or “They’re not on my level yet.” I took this as “boys don’t want me because I am ugly.” I would think that people only wanted to befriend me just to have a reason to laugh at me, or make me cry – considering I was a huge cry baby – I would think no one genuinely wanted to be my friend.
We are all taught to watch our surroundings and who we allow in our lives. After all, you are a reflection of those that you surround yourself with. As I’ve grown up...