Personal Experience

Personal Experience 2:35 a.m. Even though it was something that I had experienced before, the pain still took me my surprise. And it was only the beginning. I had finally fallen asleep around midnight. My parents had come down to Indiana for a weekend visit and we had stayed up a little late enjoying our visit with each other after the boys had gone to bed. There were two bedrooms in my little apartment and I had given them the use of mine, deciding to sleep with my two children in the other room. Being two weeks overdue with my third child and still working full-time as a waitress, I practically passed out when my head finally touched the pillow. That is, until a bad cramp woke me from my peaceful slumber. Still groggy from sleep I thought nothing of it and went back to sleep.
2:48 a.m. This time the grogginess was no longer there. From previous experience I knew it was only a matter of time, I just didn’t know how much longer it would be. Not wanting to wake up my children, I decided to go lay out on the couch. At least this way I could be uncomfortable in peace. As tired as I was I couldn’t go back to sleep. Every time I tried it seemed as though I would just close my eyes and the pain would come again. That kind of pain is definitely not something that I could easily sleep through. As happens many times when I am unable to sleep, I started thinking about all of the events leading up to my present situation and what I was going to do now.
While going through a nasty divorce eleven months earlier, I found myself unwittingly drawn to one of the men that I worked with. He wasn’t the type of person that I would normally want to be with; he was irresponsible and an alcoholic. However, he knew all the right things to say and the right times to say them. You see, my ex-husband was abusive in every way and my self esteem took the biggest blow. After being told for years that you’re damaged good and that nobody will ever want you, you start to