The Perception of Death
A month after my fourth birthday the most tragic event of my life took place. On February 24th of 1995, the police came to my family’s home with horrific and sudden news. A police officer told my mother that my father had been killed at the hand of another. From the perspective of my young mind, my father had suddenly vanished and would never be coming home again. He was gone forever, the man who had loved and protected my family. My father was the dominant parent in our household and the closest person to me at the time. His presence filled the room with positive air. Losing him felt like part of my being had been cut off from reality. His death triggered my own fear of dying. I have never seen my father through mature eyes; yet he has played one of the most significant and influential roles in my life. He taught me the most valuable lesson I have ever learned, that death is part of life and there is nothing to fear. When my father died I was deeply traumatized and constantly thought about death. When my mother returned to work, I was so terrified of losing her that I would cry for hours. My mind was disillusioning me to think that if my mother dies, then this would be the demise of me as well. My father’s death had brought up an immediate fear of survival on a daily basis. Fear had replaced the security my father had provided and grieving became a way of life. When I was nine, I began thinking about inventing a time machine so I could go back in time to recapture my beginning years with the man who seemed to have all of life’s answers. I was unable to sleep at night due to my constant focus upon death. I came to understand that my inner terror stemmed from my mind’s belief that I was no longer safe and secure. Fearful thoughts are one of the most detrimental threats to humanity(“The Physical And Mental Effects Of Fear”). By dwelling on the fear of dying I was creating a very...
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