Parenting Styles and Discipline
There are three parenting styles and who you are as a parent has a lot to do with the way your child responds to you.
The authoritarian parent values obedience. The rules are clear but inflexible. Misbehavior is strictly punished. In this type of environment, it is common for children to feel fearful and for parents to use fear as a teaching strategy. The authoritarian parent teaches the child what to think as opposed to how to think since the parent makes all decisions for the child. This parent uses reward and punishment to control the child’s behavior.
An authoritarian style can have unintended side effects. When parents rigidly discipline, children can become rigid, obsessive and people-pleasing. They may experience shame and guilt. An authoritarian style doesn’t teach children healthy ways for managing emotions; the focus is on accepting authority rather than learning how to make choices and distinguish right and wrong.
A permissive parent allows children to learn the consequences of their actions for themselves, without providing guidance. There are no clear limits and misbehavior is often ignored. Unlike the authoritarian parent, the permissive parent offers little structure and few boundaries. Children have total freedom to act however they want. Often the parent is a slave to the child.
While a permissive style of parenting may seem to support children’s creativity and provide a sense of being fully accepted, it lacks the structure they need to feel safe. Without limits, children can feel confused and insecure. It also robs the child of selfrespect and self-esteem by doing things for the child that the child can do for himself. It is an invitation for rebellion with inconsistent parenting.
As with an authoritarian style, permissiveness doesn’t teach children how to handle their emotions in a healthy way. It also doesn’t support them in developing an internal moral compass. Having free license to choose behavior...
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