Kitti Ng
Literary Traditions
10/21/2010 I make suggestions in yellow, corrections in red.
Begin with Book IX, we started to know more information about Odysseus, how his character is, through the narration of his own stories. At the beginning of The Odyssey, [punctuate with italics] we only learned his heroic incidents and his cleverness through the stories that were retold by other people. However, in Book IX, Homer not only showed us how Odysseus, as a leader of a crew, saved his shipmates out of Danger from Kyklops by using his intelligence, but also showed us how the division between Odysseus and his crew has under grown. [Has under gone? Has grown?]
[Good. You’ve identified the work and made a thesis statement about it in the introduction.]
After losing the expectations of Kyklops would welcoming or offering the visitors [offering what?] in the cave, [there are some syntax problems that make your writing confusing.] and facing the fact that three of Odysseus’ companions had been eaten, Odysseus knew that he must came up with a plan that not only destroys Kyklops, but also guarantees his shipmates and his safety. Odyssues finally came up with the idea of crafting a spike to attack Kyklops’ one eye. “...and my four fellows gave me a hand, lugging it near the Kyklops as more than natural force nerved them; straight forward they sprinted, lifted it and rammed it deep in his crater eye,….” (9. 412-416) Odysseus’ idea of blinding Kyklops’ eye is brilliant because Kyklops, unlike other creature or other human, he only has a single eye. By blinding that single eye, Kyklops loses one of the most important parts of the mortal function, which is, identifying the surroundings by seeing. Without the eyesight, Kyklops will also lose the ability to tell where Odysseus and his companions are. [Careful. Here you are retelling the plot. Instead, what insights can you add to the situation? For example, what does this do to the tension between Odysseus and his men?... [continues]
Literary Traditions
10/21/2010 I make suggestions in yellow, corrections in red.
Begin with Book IX, we started to know more information about Odysseus, how his character is, through the narration of his own stories. At the beginning of The Odyssey, [punctuate with italics] we only learned his heroic incidents and his cleverness through the stories that were retold by other people. However, in Book IX, Homer not only showed us how Odysseus, as a leader of a crew, saved his shipmates out of Danger from Kyklops by using his intelligence, but also showed us how the division between Odysseus and his crew has under grown. [Has under gone? Has grown?]
[Good. You’ve identified the work and made a thesis statement about it in the introduction.]
After losing the expectations of Kyklops would welcoming or offering the visitors [offering what?] in the cave, [there are some syntax problems that make your writing confusing.] and facing the fact that three of Odysseus’ companions had been eaten, Odysseus knew that he must came up with a plan that not only destroys Kyklops, but also guarantees his shipmates and his safety. Odyssues finally came up with the idea of crafting a spike to attack Kyklops’ one eye. “...and my four fellows gave me a hand, lugging it near the Kyklops as more than natural force nerved them; straight forward they sprinted, lifted it and rammed it deep in his crater eye,….” (9. 412-416) Odysseus’ idea of blinding Kyklops’ eye is brilliant because Kyklops, unlike other creature or other human, he only has a single eye. By blinding that single eye, Kyklops loses one of the most important parts of the mortal function, which is, identifying the surroundings by seeing. Without the eyesight, Kyklops will also lose the ability to tell where Odysseus and his companions are. [Careful. Here you are retelling the plot. Instead, what insights can you add to the situation? For example, what does this do to the tension between Odysseus and his men?... [continues]
Cite This Essay
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(2010, 12). Odyssey. StudyMode.com. Retrieved 12, 2010, from http://www.studymode.com/essays/Odyssey-521914.html
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"Odyssey" StudyMode.com. 12 2010. 12 2010 <http://www.studymode.com/essays/Odyssey-521914.html>.
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"Odyssey." StudyMode.com. 12, 2010. Accessed 12, 2010. http://www.studymode.com/essays/Odyssey-521914.html.