Negotiating with Your Nemesis

Topics: Emotion, Negotiation, Anger Pages: 4 (1465 words) Published: April 28, 2013
Negotiating with Your Nemesis
Barbara Gray
Brett Lord
BA 322
April 18

This article deals with “Negotiating with your Nemesis”. It challenges the popular notion that all emotion should be left away from the negotiating table. Real negotiators know how to handle emotional outbursts. A nemesis is a fierce rival. At first you think your nemesis is your negotiating partner, part our nemesis is actually within us. The nemesis is a part of yourself that you don’t show often that gets projected onto others who push your buttons and make you angry. Projection is something that we already covered in class earlier in the semester so I feel like I was able to take in more of the article because it was a concept I was already familiar with. Projection occurs when people assign to others the characteristics or feelings that they possess themselves. Projection usually arises out of a need to protect one’s own self-concept. It is usually a negative thing. For example, a negotiator will become frustrated if the other negotiator has frequent delays. It talks in the article about how most people think emotions have no place at the negotiating table. You are taught to suppress your emotions because you don’t want to affect a potentially important negotiation. Barbara Gray argues that a truly effective negotiator can handle whatever emotions come from them or their partner. I agree with that because if someone is suppressing their feelings during a negotiation, all they are really doing is holding you back. They will be distracted from the real task at hand, to get a good deal done. You should not focus our attention to the person who is bringing out our nemesis because it is useless. No matter what you do you will not get them to change and modify themselves to your needs. You should focus on yourself and your own emotional reaction. There are five steps to understanding our own emotional reactions. They are 1. Label their Behavior (to yourself)- Recognize to yourself...
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