My Family Structure

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I grew up in a nuclear family. There are four people in my family, consists of my father, mother, my sister and me. My father is 62 years old. He’s working as a insurance agent. My mother is 10 years younger than my father. She used to work as a store manager before she gave birth to me. She quitted her job in order to take care of me and my sister because she believes that the mother daughter bond can grow stronger day by day by spending time with us. My sisters and I are four years apart. She is currently studying in Tsun Jin Independent School. Even though we fought a lot growing, got mad at each other, but she is still my one and only sister and that’s all that matters. I think is normal for siblings to fight despite the age difference as it can increase the bond between each other. I was brought up with a very typical view of what a ‘normal’ family is and does. Every night, my family eats dinner together. My parents always encourage us to go home early and have dinner together. Our family believes that it helps us stay connected and build better relationship. During dinner, we would talk over the happenings of the day, about upcoming events or plans and share interesting stories together. There are a number of different subsystems in my family. My parents, they are obviously the dominant ones working together to make decisions for the family. Most of the time, my parents will have their private time planning trips and activities for the family. Most decisions are made during their one on one dates outside of home. My sister and I can express our thoughts about their decisions but ultimately our parents will have the last say. For instance, every year when my parents talk about family trips, my sister and I will give our thoughts and suggestions to our parents, but at the end of the day, none of our suggestions make it to be in our family trip plans. Another subsystem that exist in my family is the siblings subsystem. My siblings and I There was once we threw a house party when our parents were out of town and we kept it a secret between us two. It was fun and all, keeping secrets from our parents and getting away with our lies. But everything has its pros and cons. In this case, it’s about the trust we have in each other as sisters. Once in a while, a secret broke out and none of us would like to take the blame for our doings, so we ended up pushing the blame to each other. Ever since the fallout, we’ve formed a boundary between each other. My sister is no longer allowed to enter my room and use my things without my permission. On the other hand, my parents also clearly define the boundary of a parental subsystem. I remembered there was once my father told me not to interfere when he was lecturing my sister about the assigned chores that she has left undone. I can say that the boundaries in my family are considered firm as we have not much freedom when we were young.

Every family has their own roles and rules within the family. Roles and rules are essential to the family growth, without a solid structure of roles and rules; families can easily be broken down. For my family, the roles and rules are very solid. My dad carries the role as the provider of the family. He does a pretty good job providing for my sister and my education, giving us a nice and cozy home to stay and furnish us with all our wants and needs. My mom, she’s a dedicated housewife. She works very hard and keeps the home in tiptop condition. Apart from all the cleaning and cooking, she also takes time to talk to us by getting to know the problems we face and advising us on how to solve them. Hence, there’s no doubt that my mom plays a big role in keeping us emotionally healthy. I understood my role in the family since I was in my primary days. My dad has always emphasized to me that I must take care of my younger sister no matter what the consequences are. There was an incident during my primary school days, I left my 7-year-old sister with her...
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