My complete and Utter refutation of the Bible: EXODUS

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Here continues by verse-by-verse refutation of the mindless inanity that is the Bible.

EXODUS

How is it, as Voltaire asked, that the Nile could be transformed into a river of blood, an angel slaughtered all the first-born children in Egypt, the sea parted with its waters suspended on either side, and no author mentioned it except for a tiny barbaric nation thousands of years after the event?

i.5: This verse claims that all the souls that came out of the loins of Jacob were seventy souls when in Act{ vii.14 it gives the number as 75.

i.18-20: God dealt well with the midwives because they lied to the Pharaoh. This goes contrary to the ninth commandment of Ex.xx.16 and Dt.v.20 which states Thou shalt not bear false witness. Prov.xii.22 declares that Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord and Rev.xxi.18 promises that All liars shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone.

ii.12: Moses kills an Egyptian and then hides the body.

ii.15: If Moses was adopted into royalty as it claims in verse 10, why did the Pharaoh want to have him executed? Surely royalty didn't consider the killing of a mere workman as terribly significant. Nevertheless, it states here that Moses fled from the face of the Pharaoh which contradicts Heb.xi.27 which declares that he did not in fact fear the wrath of the king.

ii.17: This verse contradicts iii.1 which states that his father-in-law was Jethro, not Reuel.

ii.21: Here Moses marries Zipporah, daughter of the priest of Midian, but in Num.xii.1 for some reason it states twice in one verse that he married an Ethiopian.

ii.25: God had respect unto the Israelites. This contradicts several verses that claim that the Almighty respects no one.

iii.1: Moses married a Midrianite despite the divine commandment against doing so in Dt.vii.3. In addition, as mentioned above this verse contradicts ii.17.

iii.4: Instead of I AM THAT I AM, scholars argue that Yahweh's would be more accurately rendered instead as I WILL BE WHAT I WILL BE. In this way Yahweh defines himself as a verb rather than a simple noun and therefore implies a continuous process. Be that as it may, God here is still talking to Moses as a burning bush.

iii.8: The Israelites are promised a land flowing with milk and honey. Where? Certainly not where they are now.

iii.16: God tells Moses to tell everyone that he's seen Him. But this contradicts several passages that state that no one has ever or can ever behold the Almighty.

iii.18: The fact that Yahweh is specifically mentioned here as The Lord God of the Hebrews implies that there are other gods for other races.

iii.22: God ordering the Israelites to steal by plundering the Egyptians, thus basically ignoring the eighth commandment.

iv.2-9: To convince the Pharaoh to release all the captive Jews, God offers some persuasive magic tricks to help Moses in his appeal. Firstly, take a magical rod and throw it on the ground at which point it will become a snake. If you hold onto the tail, it will become a rod again. If that doesn't impress the Pharaoh, simply make your hand leprous and then heal it. If that last idea sounds utterly pointless, pour water on the ground (the kind you buy at any party shop) and it will turn into blood. If god was this keen to think up such ticks, couldn't he just have told the Pharaoh himself?

iv.10: Moses protests that he is slow of speech, and of a slow tongue because he was raised as an Egyptian and couldn't speak Hebrew.

iv.11: God brags about how he is responsible for people with disabilities.

iv.18: Here Jethro is Moses's father-in law, whereas elsewhere it's either Hobab or Reuel.

iv.22: Yahweh here asserts that Israel is his firstborn which raises the possibility that it is being chosen either as a sacrificial victim or to be passed over and be sent into exile (see note to Gen.xxii..2).

iv.23: Yahweh threatens to kill Pharaoh's son.

iv.24-26: This must...
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