The relationship between parents and their children is one of the most basic human interactions. Mothers and daughters provide both physical and emotional care for their young sons and daughters. In the process, parents will instill children with family values and goals, while teaching them the accepted norms and values of society. This is done in hope that parents will one day see their own children become mature adults, with their own goals and purposes in life.
Mother-daughter relationships can be complex, but also filled with compassion and love. Mothers and daughters often seem farther away from each other than they really are. Usually when a girl goes through adolescence, the relationship between her and her mother begin to change in many different ways, but can grow at the same time. Even though the wars between a mother and daughter can ravage a relationship, they can easily be recognized earlier enough to keep a relationship from severing the ties that a mother and daughter have with one another.
Adolescence... a time of seemingly more freedom, junior high to high school, football games, dances, parties, going out for pizza, dating, driving, a later curfew, going to the mall, and talking on the phone almost non stop. Many mothers rarely see their daughters during these times. With all the time she begins to spend with her friends, it seems as if the major issues constantly being discussed are bedtimes, clothing and chores. #Girls are growing up and it may seem as if their mothers are being needed less, but they are needed, just in a different way. When I was beginning to enter adolescence, I wasn't completely separated from my mother, but I could feel it was beginning to happen. My sister Erin, who is now 21 felt the same way. #"When I was younger, between 14-18 I separated form my mother and it almost felt like I was completely separated from her." Even though girls may feel like they are farther away from their mothers that they could ever get, it is not the end of the world. Most girls are close to their mothers when they are young, and many return to that closeness as adults. But few girls manage to stay close to their mothers during junior high and high school. I have realized that before I entered into
high school, my mother and I had a close relationship. I was the exception of most girls my age and many of them seemed jealous of me and even thought of my mother as the cool' mom. When I entered not high school, this all changed. I started keeping things from my mom and not talking to her as much. We were growing apart and we both knew it, but I didn't know what to do. It seemed like I wanted to keep things to myself and I just wanted my own privacy. Girls at their most vulnerable time reject the help of the one person who wants most to understand their needs. Erin also says "I didn't get along with my mom at all. I would go to school and then when I came home, I'd lock myself in my room. I just didn't want to see her or deal with her. It wasn't like I hated her, I was just going through a lot and didn't know how to express myself, other than to hide' from everyone." Girls truly desire strong ties with their mothers, but many times it's hard to figure out how to maintain these ties with their them. Mothers also feel helpless during these times, not knowing what to say or do, afraid that their daughters would just become more and more upset and angry with them. #My mother, Cathy, has said that with both my sister and I, she has #"felt like my kids were beginning to need me less and less and I just feel helpless." Sometimes mothers feel like they can't help their daughter, they feel like they are the cause of all their problems. Cathy also agrees. #"I did feel like I caused many problems in both of my daughters lives and even with the problems I knew I wasn't the cause of, I just felt that if I tried to help in any way, then I would only be making things worse."...
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