Mother and Approval

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“A Chinese Banquet,” written by Kitty Tsui, portrays the impact that approval has over people, and how one can be broken down without it. From the start of our lives, we are in a constant battle to feel appreciated and approved of what we do. Approval is a key element in development, and is always needed for a child to feel worthy and loved. Even as adults, we continue to seek the approval from the people we love in order to maintain a sense of security and happiness. Many people feel satisfied without gaining approval from their loved ones, yet these people often feel alone and detached from their families. Without the support from our loved ones, we begin to feel secluded, disconnected, and invalidated. Although people often view approval from others as insignificant, the approval we obtain from our loved ones serves as a backbone to how we live, and the absence of approval will ultimately torment us. The approval that is needed in a child-parent relationship is essential for a strong lasting bond, and a child. As children grow, their actions are all somehow connected with seeking approval from the parents. They want to know that they have done a great job, and that mommy and daddy are proud of them. This makes for a secure child, and an enjoyable parenting experience. This aspect of development carries on through adulthood, and continues to hold the same level of importance. Kitty reveals her desperate attempt to connect with her mom when she states, “One day, wanting desperately to/ bridge the boundaries that separate us/ wanting desperately to touch her/ tell her; mother I’m gay and so happy with her” (27-31). Kitty’s yearn for the approval of her mother to be with this woman, demonstrates just how important the understanding and acknowledgement of her mother is. The tone Kitty portrays is depressing, and she paints a picture of her hopeless voice and her longing cry towards her mother. Kitty’s desire for the approval of her loved ones displays the value...
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