Montana 1948-David’s unvoiced out thoughts
I know I shouldn’t be feeling this. Would it be a sin to do so? I love her! I know I do.
She smiles at me once so often and it feels like I'm on high, not that I've ever tried to. As the only child, I don’t know if it’s her responsibility to do so or maybe I'm just thinking too much about it. I remember playing with her and Ronnie Tall bear, they are a perfect couple. “David, you should get inside and change your clothes, your mother would be home soon” Marie said. “I’ll do it later. I still want to play. C’mon Ronnie, teach me how to play ball. ” “But Marie said you should change your clothes.” Ronnie replied with a grin. “I already said I don’t want to! I want to play.”
“Now now David, just one more, then your changing clothes?” Marie said in a soft and gentle voice. I ran to her, tackled her to the dry ground, wrapping my freckled arms around her bony blemished body and suddenly I got scared I’ll break her to pieces. “Ok David, go have a shower before Mrs. Hayden gets here. You don’t want Marie getting into trouble right?” Ronnie broke the moment. You see, my mother is not one of those typical mothers that stayed in the house. She is usually out and with Marie; I don’t feel blue at all. I'm only twelve years old and leaving in such a small town, I can pretty much do what I want as long as I get home before mum or dad does. Marie never tells on me anyway. Then at that dry warm night, a young Sioux woman lies on a bed in our house. She is feverish, delirious, and coughing so hard I'm afraid she would die. My father kneels in the kitchen floor begging my mother to help him. It’s a summer night and the room is brightly lit. Tiny insects cluster around the light fixtures, and the pleading quality in my father’s voice reminds me of those insects- high pitched, insistent, frantic. It is a sound I never heard coming from him. My mother knocked a billion times but no one answered the door; not even a whimper of...
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