Michael Cortez Analysis

Activity 3.5 – Two Descriptions Paper (Revised)
English Composition
Michael Cortez
Module 3

1st Description: The wooded area surrounding the park has a mystifying feel with the sun setting and the strange odor of a dank basement coming from its small pond. The air feels sticky and warm this time of the year and the trees blocking the breeze makes it even more muggy than usual. The open and empty field gives me a feeling of isolation and the darkening skies has an ominous look. I can hear the shrieking muffled sounds of animals nearby, but without being able to see what’s beyond the blurry tree line, it’s hard to know if what I’m hearing is wild and aggressive or tame and timid. I can taste the musty fall air on my tongue as the breeze
The thick tree lines and vast open fields bring a sense of freedom and grandeur. The brilliant light shining like beacon of hope with the soft calming breeze flowing across the field is refreshing and pure like a baby after a warm bath. The air seems to be free and clear of the city’s poisonous air pollution and the soft sounds of birds makes it all too refreshing, like a beautiful day on the beach. With quiet clean monuments and buildings dancing across the landscape, the look of peace and quiet seems to be present at last. As the blue crisp skies begin to darken across the brilliant blue pond, the shimmering light hitting the trees is as beautiful as the sun setting on the Catalina Island on a bright blue day with soft clouds flowing across the sky. I have the taste of fresh fruit on my tongue in my mouth as I take a long deep breath, and realize how much the soft green grass adds to the peacefulness in the park. I can hear the cheerful wildlife scampering beyond the tree line, like young children frolicking in their mother’s front yard. As the quiet darkness sets in, and with the city brilliant lights in the background, the serene park makes the bustling city seem peaceful once
In the first description I selected words that would appeal to someone from the city, not used to being alone in an unknown environment. I described the loneliness and almost spooky feeling of the vast park as dusk was approaching. The feeling of dark and dreary was the tone I tried to create for the reader. Not knowing what the pond really looked like, made it easy to paint a picture of a clean body of water, or dirty watering hole. I chose words in the second description that made a person feel like the park was a breath of fresh air and a break from the hustle and bustle of the city life. The second description also had words that described beauty and joyful peace; while the first description used words that made a person feel alone and depressed. I tried to use figurative language that might make a person connect more with the description I was providing. My feelings towards each area were added to create the sense of true emotion towards the park I was sitting in. The words used to show confusion and mystery in the first description could also lead a person to feel scared before ever realizing the park was as peaceful as the second