The organization of the memo seems to be adequate. The only thing I found a little offsetting was the page number and running header. I almost wanted to see it in a light-grey text on the right side of the page. However, it did not throw off the tone of the memo, nor did it stray me from its goal too badly. I was able to maintain a constant focus on what the memo was saying. This brings me to clarity. The memo is written in an urgent, yet highly formal tone. I feel that it provided a lot of information on the background as to “why” the company was moving its headquarters to Shanghai, but lacked a “how” aspect. Perhaps this information could have been shrunken down a little bit. Too much information in the beginning caused me to feel the memo was unclear on its intended purpose. The subject line read simply “China relocation” which started me out thinking that the company was relocating to China, and did not already exist there. Once the information was presented that the company already has a site in China, I was able to focus more on what the memo was directing to; relocation of that previously existing site. I feel this leads the reader down a much longer road than is needed. Another pit-fall of this memo is the long run-on sentences. The sentences most certainly need to rewritten into shorter, straighter sentences. I feel the author did not keep his audience in mind when writing this and blurred his thoughts together as he was writing. Two sentences in as many as four lines, seems a bit “long-winded”. However, this changes when you get to the bullet list. The first bullet list has short, to-the-point sentences, whereas the rest of the bullet lists utilize the run-on sentence structure once more. My final thought on the running header is the usage of the word “memo” on the second page. It seems redundant and un-necessary to re-iterate the fact that you are reading a memo. Also, if this memo was originally released on a website, page numbers...
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