Happy Marriages, Happy Kids
On a sunny day, a father wants his family to go mountain climbing, but the mother prefers to go to the mall to buy shoes for the kids. Even though it is a very normal conversation in a family, the way parents solve this conflict could make a big deal to the kids. Siegel, author of “7 Essential Lessons Your Kids Learn from Your Marriage,” states that “how you and your husband talk to each other, how you listen, and how you work out your differences shape the beliefs your children are forming about relationships. These beliefs guide their friendships today and will ultimately guide their own marriages” (1). Overall, we realize how important parents’ marriages influence children’s behaviors. Parents’ marriage is a model to many children. Children will learn a lot from their parents’ marriage, which will largely influence on their behaviors. According to Marchand and Hock, authors of "Mothers' and Fathers' Depressive Symptoms and Conflict-Resolution Strategies in the Marriage and Children's Externalizing and Internalizing Behaviors,”state that “conflict-resolution strategies in the marriage also have been associated with externalizing and internalizing behaviors in children and some researchers have suggested that children's reactions may vary depending on the strategy used by the parent” (4). By avoiding conflict, this would result in a cold war between wife and husband. Additionally, Marchand and Hock mention that this kind of conflict may “…prevent the child from expressing his or her own feelings and result in internalizing behaviors” (4). On the other hand, Marchand and Hock state that “hostile forms of conflict” may “cause more emotional and physiological arousal in children and result in externalizing behaviors” (4). We could see how parents that solve conflicts truly influence children’s behaviors. What is the good way to solve conflicts and set a good example for children? Parents could settle the...
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