In all marriages communication is an essential part that keeps the marriage going strong. How can we possibly live without speaking to one another? In Deborah Tannen’s essay, “Sex, Lies, and Conversation,” she argues that communication between men and women must be viewed as cross-cultural. She discusses several conversational style differences that shed some light on the reasons for misunderstandings between men and women.
My observations and experiences reveal that when it comes to eye contact, signal interruption, and speaking freely at home Tannen knows exactly what she is speaking of. First of all, when it comes to eye contact I have observed that men and women are completely different. In my experience speaking with my dad, brother or even my boyfriend, I know how frustrating it can be when you speak to them and they do not look you straight in your eyes. What are they scared of? Why won't they look at me? Is he ignoring me? These are questions I’m sure we as women have all asked ourselves. The importance of being different from one another is the reason we get along so well, because they help us and vice versa.
Women are indeed different as Tannen claims. Tannen says that men stay quiet during interaction while women make many noises to let people know we are attentive. Tanne says that women express themselves more when communicating then men do. I have experienced first-hand how this is indeed the case for example, My mother hates when she is speaking to my step-father and he doesn’t give eye contact or even make a sound, it’s like he is completely ignoring her. What is really happening is that he is actually paying attention to every word but instead of speaking before thinking, he takes his time to think before he says something he will regret later. In addition to communication, I find that when it comes to noise making while talking, men and women have completely different feelings about what is to be or not to be...
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