Love, Sex and Relationship

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(a) For sexually open-minded:

Possible reasons for sexually open-minded people:
* Attachment theory: anxious, ambivalent adults & avoidant adults who has insecure in relationships with others, who tend to fall in love immediately and want a commitment fast little trust for other and unable to have love and intimacy

* Can’t establish a stable intimate relationship with one person * Never feel love and trust in their upbringings, doesn’t know how to love other people * Motivational component in Sternberg’s triangular theory of love – physical attraction, romantic feelings and sexual desire by others * Colors of loving – game playing love (ludus) – treat love as a game and often with several partners > no intention to have long term commitment, view sexual activity as an opportunity for pleasure rather than intensive emotional bonding and exchange * Short term mate selection preferences for men and women (speed dating or casual relationship) from session 6 & 7.

Ending relationships: jealousy and disengagement (levels of communication? Insufficient security? Jealousy?

Lee’s style – possessive love (manic) – high jealousy and obsessive, low confidence level and self-esteem, and lack of trust (rather than a sign of true love)

Why people have jealousy? What trigger jealousy
1. Your partner flirts with others
2. you find that love is not reciprocated

Six types of love schemas
Fickle – never satisfied with the present relationship
casual – enjoy relationships, but does not want to be committed

Possible obstacles to love and intimacy:
1. Differences in personal values and commitment in love
2. Extensive giving and addiction to love
(obsessive love – overly controlling or manipulative)

(b) For Socially open-minded:
Explanation (our previous thoughts):
teenagers who are socially open minded:
(more and more university students participate more extracurricular activities, outgoing, good sense of humor, fun to be around, and it may be the factor to link people together? – people spend more time in campus activities will have high rates of establishing intimate relationships)

Interesting and curious to see if this phenomenon affects their level of relationship (e.g. length)

* Social attraction theory: attracted by people who are outgoing, fun, pleasant, elegant manners in relating with other people, they fit well with friends and partners * Sexual attraction theory: physical attractions, it reflects one’s feelings of sexual arousal or desire to have close touch in the presence of the person * Someone may be socially attracted, e.g. they are outgoing, physically attractive and fun to be around, however, they may not be relationally attractive since they are not serious enough in keeping a long term relationship * Environmental factor: the social network brings proximity to people * Personal qualities: outgoing, good personalities, fun to be around * Other quality related to attraction and maintenance of relationship: interpersonal communication skills: who express kindness, caring in communication with positive attitude, eye contact * Similarities, complementarity and reciprocity could affect the length of relationship

For unexpected discoveries:
1. there is a girl with 10 sex partners

2. no. of sexually open-minded in male: 10/22 (45%)
3. no. of sexually open-minded in female: 2/35 (6%)

4. no. of socially open-minded in male: 11/22 (50%)

5. no. of socially open-minded in female: 6/35 (17%)

Revised- More theories:

(all) Beginning of our research, according to Amato, P.R. & Previti, D. (2003). People’s reasons for divorcing: gender, social class, the life course, and adjustment.; two of the top 10 reasons for ending a relationship include Infidelity/ disloyalty (immaturity or interest in a third party) (21.6%) and lack of communication

* so to what extent, can socially and sexually open-minded people maintain a long-term...
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