The Colors of Love Theory Corresponds to the Color Wheel
If you're familiar with the color wheel you'll know that there are three primary colors - red, blue, and yellow, and these colors mix to create the three secondary colors - purple, orange, and green. In 1973 John Lee used the color wheel to describe his theory of love, in his book, The Colors of Love.
Primary Love Styles are Eros, Ludos and Storge
Though they don't correspond to specific colors, Lee's primary styles of love are: eros, ludos, and storge. Eros is the kind of romantic love we often see in movies. It is the hopeless romantic, loving an ideal person. It is a focus on the senses, beauty, chemistry. It can also be unrealistic and disappointing.
Ludos is love as a game. A Casanova with many partners would be operating with the style of ludos. Any time it's about the thrill of the chase, ludos is the love-style.
Storge is love as friendship. Couples that build a relationship based on friendship that eventually grows to be more intimate, have a storge love style. Though these relationships may not be as passionate as Eros love, they tend to be longer lasting. Secondary Love Styles Mix the Primary Styles
Like the colors on the color wheel, these primary styles are mixed to create the secondary styles. Mixing eros with ludos creates mania, or obsessive love, that can feel like a roller-coaster ride and include bouts of jealousy and possessiveness. Mixing ludos with storge creates pragma, which is realistic and practical love, like when partners are chosen because they're "good on paper." And mixing eros with storge creates agape, which is selfless love, often experienced as spiritual love.
Clyde and Susan Hendrick continued to research love styles and developed the Love Attitude Scales, a test you can take to determine your love style, and the love style of your relationship. They claim that couples with matching love styles tend to last longer than those with opposing...
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