Life Changing
Cody Mertz
An Encounter That Changed My Life July 30th, 2012 I attempted suicide. My life has seemed to change since this incident. I let stress of my niece’s custody case, where the mother’s side of the family was accused by my niece that they were “touching” her in her vaginal area. All the stress got to me when my niece, who is a little over four years old, came up to me and told me that she had stopped believing in me. I felt worthless and un-needed, the only thought that was in in my head was that if she cannot believe in me and trust me, someone who depends on other people, why am I even around. That morning I woke up and typed out letters to my friends, family, and my girlfriend about what I was about to do; telling them that I love them and that I will always watch over them. I went and placed the letters at the doors of everyone and went to Bear Creek Park. I brought with me, 7500 mg of Vicodin, and 565mg of Warfarin(a powerful blood thinner). I overdosed and took all of the pills. Which honestly should have killed me, the Vicodin should have released its chemicals as it dissolved and my body should not be able to handle it. The blood thinners should have killed me within the next day or so because the normal dose is 10mg. With how much of Warfarin I took, I should have been bleeding internally and my blood cells would be thick enough to even stay in my veins. I was found in my 1996 red ford truck two hours after consuming the pills, passed out on my front bench seat. A little under 7 months have passed by, and I have been working on recovery by talking in groups, going to consoling, as well as therapy. I am still diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and am still working on trying to get over it by taking anti-depressants. All the family issues are still currently going on, and is supposed to be ending sometime in early March (with the court hearing for custody of my niece), but as of right now, hope does not look promising. As time passes, life
An Encounter That Changed My Life July 30th, 2012 I attempted suicide. My life has seemed to change since this incident. I let stress of my niece’s custody case, where the mother’s side of the family was accused by my niece that they were “touching” her in her vaginal area. All the stress got to me when my niece, who is a little over four years old, came up to me and told me that she had stopped believing in me. I felt worthless and un-needed, the only thought that was in in my head was that if she cannot believe in me and trust me, someone who depends on other people, why am I even around. That morning I woke up and typed out letters to my friends, family, and my girlfriend about what I was about to do; telling them that I love them and that I will always watch over them. I went and placed the letters at the doors of everyone and went to Bear Creek Park. I brought with me, 7500 mg of Vicodin, and 565mg of Warfarin(a powerful blood thinner). I overdosed and took all of the pills. Which honestly should have killed me, the Vicodin should have released its chemicals as it dissolved and my body should not be able to handle it. The blood thinners should have killed me within the next day or so because the normal dose is 10mg. With how much of Warfarin I took, I should have been bleeding internally and my blood cells would be thick enough to even stay in my veins. I was found in my 1996 red ford truck two hours after consuming the pills, passed out on my front bench seat. A little under 7 months have passed by, and I have been working on recovery by talking in groups, going to consoling, as well as therapy. I am still diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and am still working on trying to get over it by taking anti-depressants. All the family issues are still currently going on, and is supposed to be ending sometime in early March (with the court hearing for custody of my niece), but as of right now, hope does not look promising. As time passes, life