Com 200 Interpersonal Communication
March 5, 2012
Final Paper: Letter of Advice
Dear Amy and Smith,
As you know, I am taking interpersonal communication, and as a close friend of the two of you, I feel that it is only right that I share information I have learned for the marriage you have ahead. I know that you are newly engaged, and this information will prove to be of use in your relationship. We have all heard “communication is the key in marriage,” and this proves to be true in many different concepts. Having effective communication is a key to build stronger and better in any relationship. This is my letter of advice to effectively use interpersonal communication in your relationship.
To start off, it is important to know the main principles and misconceptions in effective interpersonal communication. This is a start to understanding each other. The word communication originated from the Latin word “communico”, which meant “to join or unite,” “to connect,” “to participate in,” or “to share with all.” These meanings are the goals of improving interpersonal communication. As a couple, it is important to be able to do all the above meanings. People have desires to be able to connect, participate, and share with others. Interpersonal communication cannot be avoided. Even if a person walks around with his or her head down all day, it signals a message that maybe this person is sad or distraught. Interpersonal communication is the exchange of messages between two people to create shared meaning (Sole, 2011). Effective interpersonal communication is shared meaning where all individuals involved come to a mutual understanding in the exchange of words or gestures.
Although communication is a natural habit, it is a learned habit. From birth, communication is taken place by the cry of the newborn signaling that he or she is alive. “The fact that we have been communicating all of our lives does not mean that we do it well” (Sole, 2011, Ch. 1). Alfred Korzybski suggested three ways to become a better communicator: become more aware of what you and others are doing when you communicate, recognize that communication is a process in which you must constantly work to avoid misunderstandings, and expect to be misunderstood and expect to misunderstand others. “Because meaning is in people, not in words, communication skills must be used to reach mutual understanding about what a symbol or word means” (Sole, 2011). Entering a new relationship with this knowledge is a start to possessing effective interpersonal communication. As humans we have an incredible ability to master languages that we have created in order to create understanding among ourselves. With this, what says that we cannot take our language and learn how to effectively communicate with one another? Our minds allow us to be aware of not only our own thoughts and feelings, but also those of others as well. An advantage of human communication is being able to share thoughts and feelings that allow a connection to be formed in relationships (Sole, 2011).
There are fences sometimes impeding effectiveness to occur in interpersonal interactions. Persons who are not aware of the quality of their verbal skills or nonverbal skills are also not aware of the problems they need to work on. Lack of appropriate skills in communication can hinder effective communication. Communication habits that people possess sometimes get in the way of effectively communicating.
Building a relationship is not always smooth going. Problems in communication sometimes appear, even in the best of relationships. There are hurdles that must be jumped before and during building effective interpersonal communication. Three common hurdles that stem in relationships from the parties themselves are silence, placating, and playing games (Sole, 2011). These are actions sometimes done by both persons in a relationship or one. Behaviors of such can cause...