Ldr Research Paper

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To be in a long distant relationship is no easy task. Many couples face a tough decision when it comes time to leave for college. Stay together or end the relationship as it is? My boyfriend and I did not even second-guess our choice to remain together; however, since we left for school our relationship has become significantly more difficult. We made the decision to stay together without knowing what was going to happen or where we might end up. As scary as that seemed, we still took the risk because the distance did not seem like something to end a relationship over. Throughout the past three months away at school, we have come to find that being apart causes more stress in our relationship simply because emotions have peaked and it becomes difficult to control them. The more important thing that we discovered through this separation is that the distance has made us stronger as individuals as well as a couple, and the time we were able to spend together became much more cherished. Long distant relationships are unsurprisingly challenging and emotionally straining but are certainly worth the time and effort. A long distance relationship provides an experience allowing one to grow as an individual, strengthen the bond between the couple, and teach important relationship skills to the ones involved. To grow as an individual is a tough thing in the conformity of the world today, but oddly enough being in a long distance relationship can actually help with that growth. By developing individual lives, both members of the relationship are able to be their own person allowing self-growth (5). This newfound self-growth gives the members a chance to reach personal goals, ambitions and desires without having to worry that it will take time out of the growth of the relationship itself (5). Many people have a difficult time when it comes to juggling a boyfriend/girlfriend with everything else that is going on in their day-to-day life. The separation gives the couple a chance to “focus on work or school, and when together they can focus on their relationship” (8). It is possible to enjoy the time being spent apart; the space can help teach members more about themselves and the relationship (5). For example in Dear John, Savannah is able to go to school, while John is away at war. The two learn how to have separate lives all while still having a sense of togetherness (Dear John). By becoming more of an individual it will actually help each member to learn more about the relationship and improve it. Simply by learning more about oneself he/she is able to contribute more to the relationship. While individual growth is a great skill to obtain, if the love is there the couple will still feel upset or lonely at times. To be in a relationship that is going to work the couple needs the reassurance that each person is playing their role. Once the distance is added in couples lose the physical intimacy, which tends to be one of the things missed most (Mietzner 5). When a couple is together it is impossible to notice how important a simple touch can be. According to D. Barton Goldsmith, “one of the things that keeps a relationship together is the real chemistry” (Saeed 1). Physical interactions increase levels of Oxytocin and Serotonin in the brain, therefore in our bodies (1). Oxytocin is “known as the cuddle hormone”, while Serotonin “makes us feel happy and connected” (1). Since there is a lack of any kind of touch, these levels become lower than what the couple is used to so in return they feel lonely and depressed. Even though the long distance relationship does give couples a chance to feel connected through non-physical ways, the feelings of happiness still will not be permanent (Mietzner 5). These non-physical ways will get the couple through day-to-day activities but they are not helpful for exciting or upsetting moments. There are times when a person just needs a hug from someone he/she is closest with. For a lot of people that person...
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