Kamala Das's Faith In Life

On seeing her son, Das recovered her faith in life. Ultimately her wish to die was replaced by the wish to live and survive for her son. But the birth of her first son left her physically weak. Anyhow, she continued to tolerate her husband’s disloyalty to her. After the birth of her second child Priyadarsin, her mental agony increased to an alarming level and she put under the observation of a skilled psychiatrist. Meanwhile due to the sad demise of her grandmother she suffered a major emotional jerk. Sometime after the illness of her eldest son, Das again fell seriously ill. But she was brought back to life by a sweet lady doctor. After returning from Calicut where she gave birth to her third child, Jaisurya she suffered a serious breakdown
She said in an interview mentioned in The Love Queen of Malabar : Memoir of Friendship with Kamala Das, “ Islam is the religion of love. Hindus have abused and hurt me. They often tried to scandalize me. I want to love and be loved” (141). She also told that she is taking Krishna from the Guruvayur temple, naming him Mohammed, and making him a prophet. Kamala Das opined that she has not abandoned Krishna but just renamed him Mohammed. Das said, “ My grandmother told me as child I was married to Krishna, I have seen Krishna, played with him and eaten with him. I love Krishna, and that love never die. The essence of Krishna is within me, it’s only that name has changed” (141-142). Kamala ‘s life was threatened and the Vishwa Hindu Parishad took her to the court for abusing Hinduism in her remarks about guruvayur temple. Even in an Interview with George Iype , she said, “ For me, all Gods are same, Whether you are a Hindu, a Muslim, a Christian or any one. I believe in the concept of God. For me, God is the guardian”. She became a Muslim , put on purdah and learned the principal tenets of Islam. She further added, “ My conviction is growing. Islam has grown on me. In the beginning I was not at all religious. Now I have really become religious because of Islam” (Rediff
Her conversion also caused much ire and bile in the public resulting in the death threats from Hindu extremists as well as from Islamists who forbade her to abjure Islam and return from Hinduism. The fanatics, Shiv Sena and the RSS pasted posters all over the place, “Madhavikutty is insane. Put her to death.” It was said that she converted to Islam because Muslims promised her a seat in government or an Assembly candidature. But the reality was entirely different. Few months after the conversion, she revealed that in the year 2014 a young man named Sadiq Ali came into her life, a Muslim League MP. He woo proposed her on phone, from Abu Dhabi and Dubai, reciting Urdu couplets. Sadiq Ali charmed Kamala with his expressiveness, rough wavy hair and wondrous smile . He flirted Das by saying that he had admired Kamala for years and wanted to meet her. His flirtatious play stirred long masked feelings and desires of Kamala Das and she developed physical relationships with him. Merry Weisbord mentioned the intimate feelings of Kamala Das in her book The Love Queen of Malabar: Memoir of Friendship with Kamala Das, “ I was almost asleep when Sadiq Ali climbed in beside me, holding me, breathing softly, whispering endearments, kissing my face, breasts…and when he entered me, it was the