It's My Fault

Topics: 2007 singles, Debut albums, Stupidity Pages: 2 (607 words) Published: April 9, 2013
There is really nothing wrong with him. It's honestly my fault. No matter how much I try, I never seem to get it in my thick head how he really is sincere about being with me, and that he never lies to me. It's just this long distance between us that keeps me from understanding all the things he tells me. I'm the kind of person who doesn't usually buy whatever people tell me without really seeing proof because I have friends and family who take pleasure in making a fool out of me. They call me the 'smart idiot', since I have high grades in school but don't understand simple things in life, such as their shallow jokes. Maybe I'm never the type of person who looks at the basic things, just the complexity of them. I usually read between the lines all the time, when there isn't really anything to read at all, making me stupid when it comes to simple matters. So it's basically from my experience in the past that prevents me from believing some of the things he tells me. I have this subconscious mindset that there is truly no pure honest person existing in this world, when it so happens that the one person who proves me wrong about that thought is the person I'm in a relationship with. I always blame him for things he never did on purpose for I keep on thinking that all the people in my life are trying to hurt me. It's my pessimism that continues flooding my mind with thoughts such as "He doesn't care about you", "He will just leave you.", "He doesn't love you." no matter the countless times he states the total opposite. I feel guilty that he has to swallow in his gut all of my inner anxiety and pain, when all he ever did is try to prove to me that he really loves me because he completely does. I do believe him but there are some occasions when I'm telling myself not to. All he did was understand my very complicated head - my mood swings, fits of rage, uncontrollable sadness, untamed impatience, and false accusations. But I'm guessing that his words and that...
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