Interpersonal Relationship

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Chapter 9 – Interpersonal Relationships

I. Advantages and disadvantages of interpersonal relationships

A. Advantages
1. Lesson loneliness
2. Provide stimulation
3. Enhance self worth and self esteem
4. Maximize pleasure and minimize pain

B. Disadvantages
1. Pressure to be vulnerable
2. Encroach on privacy
3. Increase obligations
4. Limit other relationships
5. Emotionally difficult to dissolve
6. Break your heart

II. Relationship stages

A. Created and constructed by the individuals
B. People see their relationships differently
C. Interdependence is primary quality of an interpersonal relationship

D. Six stage model (applies to all types of relationships)

1. Contact
a. perceptual contact – physical appearance
b. interactional contact (superficial and impersonal)
*Flirting – verbal and nonverbal signals of romantic interest *Dark side of flirting – becomes harassment or stalking

2. Involvement – mutuality, connection, try to learn more about the other a. tests – find out how your partner feels about the relationship (start here but go throughout relationship) b. intensifying -- tokens of affection; increase contact; sexual intimacy; jealousy

3. Intimacy – further commitment; share social networks; quantity and quality of exchanges increase, talk more about the relationship Two phases of intimacy:
a. interpersonal commitment – private commitments to each other b. social bonding – public commitment; you become an identifiable pair

4. Deterioration – weakening of bonds
a. intRApersonal dissatisfaction
b. IntERpersonal deterioration – withdraw, distance, conflict

5. Repair – change behaviors or expectations; not always pursued A. IntRAapersonal – analyze and try to solve yourself; consider changing your behaviors B. IntERpersonal repair – negotiate changes w/other

*Recognize the problem
*Engage in productive communication and conflict resolution
*Pose possible solutions
*Affirm each other –...
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