May 16, 2011
Wondering the day to day lives of people, the kid’s thoughts and feelings to see their father walk out the door. Do they ever wonder is this the last time I am going to see him. Mammie and Daddy have been fighting every day, no more smiles, no more family time, all you hear fighting words of anger no expression of love. Where did it all good. Mammie and Daddy only say don’t worry about it just go to your room everything is ok, but I’m little and I understand and wonder is it really ok? What story comes to mind? What images come to mind?
There is no life, in this house anymore there is only silence, you can hear a pin drop. Not one clear indication where I stand between my parents, do I say with my Mommy, do I stay with my Daddy? I know right now it may look like this is a daily routine but my heart tells me otherwise as I see my Daddy walking out the door. This time doesn’t feel like the same, something is different; daddy didn’t take anything but his briefcase for work but something in his see you later felt like a goodbye. Mommy is in the living room watching Daddy as he is leaving out the door and her stare is blank, no emotion, not a care in the world as if she was only physically here but her mind heart and soul is everywhere else but in this cold room we call the living room. Is this a figure of my imagination or is this a nightmare that I will soon wake up from. I want to be that little girl that has her Daddy at her side every day, but something in my heart tells me that tomorrow he will be gone. The time Daddy will be around will only be temporary and the void I seek to fill with my Daddy will not be fulfilled. As a young girl time has passed and I am forced to live a double life. A thought of being that happy little girl to everyone around me and in the world, while I am drowning inside because it isn’t a nightmare Daddy is gone. Mommy tells me his...