Illeagal Immagration: a Modest Proposal

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Illegal Immigration: A Modest Proposal
In today’s society, America is faced with the problem of illegal immigration. Every day more and more illegal immigrants are crossing into the United States from foreign countries. Border control from Mexico to the United States does not work, obviously, because there are not enough Border Patrol agents to place at least half a mile apart from each other. Instead of finding a way to prevent the immigrants from coming on over, the United States just threw up a fence (like that will stop them!) and put police aka border control on the roads that lead into the United States from Mexico. Border control is like birth control, if you do not care or do not enforce it every day, then it will not work.

When the illegal immigrants do get into the United States, they do not have jobs so the government willingly gives them free Health Care and does not make them pay taxes. Most illegals have better lives than natural born Americans. The United States government complains that the immigrants are a problem yet clearly it is not solving the problem. Most immigrants do have jobs in the United States when over half the legal population cannot get jobs. “There are approximately 7.7 million illegal aliens employed in United States jobs in 2008 (End illegal immigration).”

To solve this problem, we will need to do two things. The first thing that we will need to do is get the illegal immigrants out of the United States and back to their home land and make sure they stay there. To get them to leave, we can have Sheldon (from the TV show The Big Bang Theory), a smart physicists, go and install tiny speakers in the walls of the illegal immigrants houses where they cannot see them. He should know what he is doing, right? After they are installed, at random times during the day someone with a deep, weird, strange, and scary voice should come across the speakers and say “Get out of the United States and go back to your home land or we will kill...
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