Hurt People Hurt People-Wilson Review

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Dr Wilson book Hurt people hurt people; premise is as simple as the book’s title. She shows how the process of hurting others is a cycle in that; “All of us have been hurt by people who all were hurt by other hurt people. In turn we-as hurt people-all have hurt other people to one degree or another” (Wilson, 2001). She also states that individuals learn child-like solutions to such issues as “trust, identity, and attachment” where become rooted in an individual because of binding shame (Wilson. 2001) .Sadly many children have to learn to act in a defensive or dysfunctional way to survive the abuse at the hand of their family. Parents that tend to abuse where abused themselves and never got the needed emotional healing. Even though these survival techniques a child use to live through the abuse as a child serve a purpose it is when these same techniques carry over into an adults life that cause problems and negative behaviors, Dr. Wilson’s model is summarized “making and consistently practicing new choices produce changes” (Wilson, 2001). She also see the need for God’s Holy Spirit in the healing process but that we as God’s creation have an individual choice and responsibility in the process of change. Wilson’s theory of change is cognitive behavioral as stated above in how ones choices are what produces change. She shares how one needs to first have a clear understanding of their brokenness that has caused the poor coping skills, and then recognizing the issues that need to be dealt with. It is from this new perspective in their thinking and behaviors that they can then begin to make new choices that will have a positive impact on present and future relationships. Wilson sees a balance in perspective when it comes to gaining insights and to the need to initiate and maintain their new behaviors in life. This is done in that one remembers the “difference between self-focus and self-awareness” (Wilson, 2001). She also brings up a good point that “We...
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