January 31, 2011
How a Dog’s Organism Evolves and Becomes Suited to Its Environment?
Although there are many types of organisms that could have been chosen [The passive voice is a form of "be" (have been) and a participle (chosen). Over-use of the passive voice can make paragraphs officious and tedious to read. Try to use the active voice most often; for example, passive voice = The paper was completed on time. Active voice = the student completed the paper on time--See Center for Writing Excellence > Tutorials & Guides > Grammar & Writing Guides > Active & passive voice] for this assignment, such as snakes, starfish, frogs, plants, cats, and many others, but dogs were chosen [Passive voice ] for this assignment. Even as time has passed, dogs are still evolving and are still suitable to their environment. In a dog, it has individual cells that are [Suggestion: see if the sentence can be rewritten to remove "that are"] grouped [Passive voice ] into tissues, which then are grouped [Passive voice ] into organs, which all work in the organ system. All of these put together [Clearer writing suggestion--"put together" means simply "assemble" or "assembled"] making up a dog’s body that at level of the hierarchy act together [Cliché: "get the act together" is an over-used phrase that marks you as unoriginal. Use another description] to perform the functions of life, such as regulating the dog’s [Apostrophe: remove if the word is not possessive] internal environment. All of these parts allow the dog’s organs to still evolve and become suited to its environment today. As humans breathe, eat, urinate, sweat, and radiate heat, dogs do the same because that is [Wordiness: see if you can remove "that" or "that is"] the only way known to survive.
A dog’s size and shape affects how it exchanges energy and materials with its surrounding environment. When a human baby is born, it is born with five senses which [Use "that" for a restrictive phrase (or place a comma before "which")] will guide him or her with what to do, but still that does not make their body fully developed yet because he or she will not be mature enough at a new birth’s stage. As a baby grows and then begins to learn and cope to their new surroundings and environment. The same thing happens with dogs, at the beginning they start out as baby puppies without having [Clearer writing suggestion--"having" as a transitive verb is vague. Reconsider the sentence using "possessing," "acquiring," "developing," etc. Often "having" can simply be deleted] any sense of direction, and then they grow into adult dogs. At a more of a mature stage, with [Remove comma before "with" (unless beginning or ending a parenthetical phrase)] a good sense of direction, dogs tend to learn how to feel their way through life just like humans.
Overtime and even in today’s environment, dogs have been very useful to humans. They have been trained [Passive voice ] to watch dogs, sheep dogs, for racing, fashion shows, as house pets, and have also been known to be a man’s best friend. Although time has passed, dogs still seem to be very useful in today’s environment. Dogs grow to become very wise and immune to nature real [Clearer writing suggestion--"real" or "really" means "existing in actuality"--it adds little to the meaning (and using it to mean "big," "very," or "genuine" is slang); replace it with a more expressive word] quick. Although dogs may not communicate the way humans do, they still have their own way of communicating and letting one know what their wants or needs are. A dog’s nature is very similar to human nature. If a...