How to Gain Weight

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How do you gain weight? I am going to tell exactly how to gain as much weight as you want. I’ve created a new diet just for you. This diet is focused on making people’s dreams come true. Everyone secretly wants to be fat or as some people call it, fluffy. They want to be juicy and plump. There are five easy steps to this diet, in less than a week you will be on your way to obesity. Five steps is all it takes for you to gain weight so that you can feel all nice and flabby, I will give you the tools you need so that you may finally realize how good you look when you are fat. These steps are completely painless and they are highly enjoyable. After you are done with my plan to gain weight, you’re going to be huge. People will stop to stare at you as you struggle to get yourself out of the booth at McDonalds. Step one, go buy yourself a motorized scooter. Why? You will never have to walk anywhere. The key to getting fat is to never, ever exercise. Don not even look at a treadmill or weight bench, if you do, you might start burning calories and that’s bad for you. You need those calories and lots of them. Step two, take your motorized scooter to the local grocery store and stock up on nothing but junk food. During step two you will encounter what I like to call the three C’s. The three C’s are Cookies, Chips and Chocolate. If you want to seriously gain weight and continue to gain weight, then these three delicious snacks will quickly become your best friend. Make sure everything you buy is high in carbs and fats. When you mix fats and carbs together you are guaranteed instant weight gain. Remember to buy ice cream, popcorn, pizza, and of course the three C’s. Another thing to do is to completely stop drinking water. You should only drink soda, or anything with lots of calories. Avoid the vegetable and fruit aisle at all cost.

Step three, just lay around, there is no need to get up and walk around. Find a comfortable area in your...
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