Holdens Depression

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Holden has been depressed almost all of his childhood since his brother Allie died. Holdens depression led to him making terrible choices in life. He started drinking and smoking. Not only that but it has also led to him wanting to kill him self many times throughout the book. Holden has also tried to run away to take the easy way out. Since Holden is depressed it affects the choices that he makes. When Holden’s brother Allie died, Holden didn't know what to do with himself. The day Allie died Holden slept in the garage and broke all the windows out. “i slept in the garage that night he died and broke all the goddamn windows out... just for the hell of it”. This is where Holdens depression began and the beginning of his mental breakdown. Since then, Holden started to flunk out of schools and he began to do immature things like smoking and drinking. Holden has flunked out of four schools. One of them was Pencey prep. “i decided what I'd really do, I'd get the hell out of Pencey”(salinger 51). This was the fourth school holden has flunked. But there are even worse choices that he thought about making. Holden also uses his depression to try and escape from reality. There was a time when Holden got into a fight with Maurice and Maurice punched Holdne in the stomach. It was a very light punch but Holden act as it was. When Holden got punched he “sort of started pretending that [he] had a bullet in his gut”( ). This shows how immature Holden really is because of depression. He kind of wishes he was shot so he could just die. Holden also had many suicidal thoughts. Right after the incident with Maurice, Holden was in the bathroom he said that he should just jump out of the window. “what I really felt like was committing suicide, I felt like jumping out out the window”(Salinger ). this really shows how depression is affecting him. Holden thinks that death is the easy way out but in reality it would just create more problems for him and his family especially Phoebe....
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