Smarthinking's E-structor Response Form
(Your marked-up essay is below this form.)
HOW THIS WORKS: Your e-structor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your e-structor has also embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] throughout your essay. Thank you for choosing Smarthinking's OWL; best wishes with revising your paper! *Strengths of the essay:
Welcome to Smarthinking, Linda! My name is Jack D., and I will be your e-structor today. ( Let’s look at one part from your work: “Do you enjoy working with computers, pay exceptional attention to detail and aspire to work in the healthcare industry? Asking a provocative question to start you work helps engage your readers. This makes for an effective hook for your introduction, Linda. Well done! Now, let’s see what we can improve in your paper. ( *Linda 5132210 has requested that you respond to the Content Development: Let’s take a look at how you started one of your paragraphs, Linda “There are a lot of areas in medical billing and coding. Specializing in particular specialties such, as Private Practices and Hospitals. There are a few options in becoming a certified medical biller and coder. Ranging from a certificate to an associates Certification does not guarantee you a work place in the coding work force but it does place you much above your competition. (Ultimate Medical Academy, 2012)”
It seems that this paragraph is entirely made up of a citation. The majority of your paragraphs should ideally be made of your own ideas, and citations should only be used to support them or add essential details. As you revise, how may you state what this paragraph is all about? How may you add your own ideas? After the citation, how may you help your readers understand it by providing an explanation? As you revise, I hope that you can make sure that citations are only used to support your own ideas? Should you need more help on this part, please visit this link: Developing Powerful Paragraphs.
*Linda 5132210 has requested that you respond to the Introduction/Conclusion: Let’s look at one part from your work:
To give you a little more insight, here are some of the top reasons for becoming a medical billing and coding specialist: There’s a Demand for Qualified Medical Coding Professionals. The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) reports that job prospects for medical records and health information technicians, which include medical coders, appear to be good in the coming years. Employment rates for this field are actually expected to increase 20% between 2008 and 2018, which is much faster than the average for all occupations.
It seems that you already started your discussion in the introductory paragraph. Papers need to start with an introduction that prepares your readers for the discussion. You would need to provide background information that would help prepare your readers for your thesis statement. For example, how may you bring your readers familiarity by providing information about the medical field? How may you provide examples about your work field? Preparing your readers for your chosen career need not be lengthy, so I hope that you can provide background information in your introduction. ( hould you need more help on this part, please visit this link: Writing Introductions and Conclusions. Main Idea/Thesis:
Let’s look at how you ended your introduction:
This can be improved by providing a thesis statement. An introduction usually ends with a thesis statement that has the main idea, claim, and subtopics for discussion in order to give your readers the summary of your work. This is very important as your thesis statement is the blueprint of your work. Your...