Hamlet Parody - Serial Killer's Soliloquy

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The Serial Killer's Soliloquy

To kill, or not to kill: that is the question:
Whether ‘tis nobler to not murder
The innocent people living pathetic lives,
Or to take arms against a sea of people,
Opposing me I end them. To execute; to terminate
Lots more; and by terminate I end their pitiful
Lives, and the thousand others that they bred,
More fresh flesh, ‘tis a consummation
I devoutly wish for. To massacre, to slaughter;
To eradicate: to fulfill my dream: ay, there's the catch;
For in that plague of death my dreams will come,
But only if I keep myself alive,
I cannot pause: there's the consideration
That cause us to live a long life or die:
For who would bear the harsh experiences of life,
When they could die, by the proud man's scorn,
He who despises love, and the useless law,
And those fools of office, who I shall butcher,
My patience shall help me take them,
When they do not realize that they may save
Themselves. I would not bear their burden
To grunt and sweat under a miserable life,
But that the fear of something after death,
The undiscovered realm of which limits
No one returns, puzzles the mind
And makes us save the ill we have
When we could be disemboweling them?
Thus, conscience does make use all cowards,
And thus the true color of courage
Is destroyed by our over thinking,
My ability to kill is of such great significance
That to turn it around I will lose all my power
To slaughter and massacre. Look over there!
The fair Ophelia! It appears that I shall get
Both fair and fresh flesh today.
Be all my sins remember'd.
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